Learning To Love Again
by My Whole Life Is Thunder
Summary: Tony met the love of his life in a college hallway when he was twenty one and she was eighteen. He eventually married Kate and had a set of twins with her. Just before the twins third birthday. Kate was killed in the line of duty. Leaving Tony to raise the twins alone. Now ten years later Tony meets his daughter's teacher Ziva David. He is finally ready to love again. Tiva obviousl
1. A Tragic Love Story

Twenty one year old Tony DiNozzo walked down the halls of Ohio State University. He hated that he was still limping around. He had broken his leg six months ago. At least the cast was off even if he had missed the end of his final football season and all of his last basketball season. His athletic career was over but he had known that since he woke up in the hospital and was told he had suffered a compound fracture of the Tibia and a tear in his knee. At least doctors were optimistic he would be able to pursue a career in law enforcement. Even if he ended up being a desk jockey. He wanted to be a cop. He wanted to help people and dispatchers saved tons of lives every year. He rounded the corner and saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was short with long straight brown hair and brown eyes. She had on a pair of tight blue jeans and a red hoodie.

"Are you lost?" Tony asked.

"No I ran away from my college tour." The girl replied.

"Oh college tour." Tony replied dejectedly.

"I am eighteen." The girl laughed.

"I am twenty-one and graduating in May." Tony explained.

"So am I of course I am graduating from high school." The girl replied.

"You think you are going to go here?" Tony asked.

"No but my parents made me take the tour since my cousin goes here. I am probably going to go to University of Indiana of USC. My sister went there and she loved it." The girl explained.

"Well OSU is the best school." Tony replied.

"You sound like the tour!" The girl groaned.

"Well I don't know this The Tour. I am Tony DiNozzo." Tony introduced.

"I am Kate Todd." Kate introduced.

* * *

Tony adjusted his tie in front of the mirror. He could not believe he was getting married. He had met Kate Todd five years earlier when she was on a college tour of Ohio State. She ended up going to USC but they had kept in touch and last Christmas he had asked her to marry him. She had originally planned on studying law but had ended up quitting and studying criminology and politics and was now a member of the secret service. Tony had started a Peoria but transferred to Philadelphia two years. He was only there for only eighteen months and had spend the past year and a half at Baltimore and had recently made detective. The door opened and his best man Danny Price walked in.

"I can't believe you are getting hitched!" Danny cried.

"Neither can I." Tony replied.

"She's hot though. So it's OK." Danny replied.

"She's smart too." Tony replied.

"Complete package nice!" Danny replied.

* * *

Tony woke up in the middle of the night to his bed shaking. He went to tap his wife awake with his leg and pulled it back the bed was soaking wet.

"Kate you wet the bed." Tony muttered.

"I didn't wet the bed you idiot! I am in labor!" Kate cried.

"Oh shit! We have to get to the hospital." Tony replied.

"Oh really? I thought it might be fun to have this baby at the abandoned slaughter house!" Kate snapped.

"Well if you want that." Tony replied.

"Tony DiNozzo get me to the hospital or I will kill you. OW! OW OW! You know what I don't care I am going to kill you anyway!" Kate yelled.

* * *

Tony sped down the highway. He normally hated speeders after cleaning up so many brains off the side of the road in his traffic cop days but Kate was holding a finger gun to his head to get him to drive fast enough to get her to the hospital in time. He could not believe that he was about to have a set of twins at least they would both be boys. Two little Tony's to carry on his legacy at Ohio State. Once they arrived at the hospital he called Gibbs and Abby and told them that the babies were coming. He got back to the room and waited. Seven hours past, people came, and went, and Kate screamed and vowed to give him a vasectomy. Finally the doctor told her that it was time to push. Another fifteen minutes passed and baby one was born.

"It's a boy!" The doctor called.

"Noah that's Noah" Kate replied.

"Push again it's time to deliver baby two." The doctor replied.

"That's going to be Kellen." Tony replied.

"Congrats its a girl!" The doctor cried.

"No they said we were having two boys." Tony argued.

"Well those scans can be wrong." The doctor explained.

"Tony DiNozzo you have a daughter! That is hilarious!" Kate laughed.

"Yeah for you maybe but it's terrifying for me." Tony countered.

"Don't worry Tony I will handle the girl stuff. You just flash your gun and badge at her dates." Kate assured.

* * *

Tony looked back at his wife as they ran up to the roof top. She had come to NCIS at the end of her Maternity Leave after having a falling out with her boss at the Secret Service just before the twins were born. Noah Kellen and Holly Jeanette were now two almost three years old. A good chunk of the twins lives the team had been hunting Ari Haswari a wanted terrorist and member of Mosad. That's who they were after right now. They were on the roof with Gibbs and McGee was on the ground. They were surveying the roof when Kate was shot. She fell to the ground but quickly revealed her vest.

"Thank God you are OK!" Tony cried.

"What worried you would have to raise Holly on your own?" Kate asked.

"No I love you well a little that." Tony replied.

"Tony DiNozzo you are a..." Kate said before getting hit in the forehead.

* * *

Tony fell to his knees but she was already dead. She had died the second that bullet hit her. He sobbed over his wife's limp body. Gibbs called McGee up and the two of them carried Tony down to the bullpen. He fell from his desk and rolled onto the floor. He cried onto the carpet.

"Come on Tony I am taking you home." Gibbs said.

"She's dead! Kate's dead!" Tony sobbed.

"I know Tony." Gibbs replied.

"I loved her. I will never love again." Tony sobbed.

* * *

**A/N: That's Tony and Kate's love story. I could have divided him up but wanted to focus more on Tony and Ziva's relationship as well as the twins lives. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	2. Ten Years Gone

**A/N: I forgot to do this in the first chapter but here is some info about this story that wouldn't fit in the summary. McGee joined before Kate. Vivian Blackadder never existed in this universe. Abby and him were married for two years and have a son who is two months older than Holly and Noah. They divorced just after Kate died. McGee and Delilah got married in the hospital after Parsa's bombing. Delilah has a thirteen year old daughter who just happens to be Holly's best friend. For this story Bishop is thirty-one and has been married to Jake for twelve years. They chose not to have children. Because neither wanted to sacrifice their careers. AXJimmy and Breena on the other hand have been struggling with infertility since their wedding.**

* * *

Ten years had passed since Kate was killed on the rooftop in front of Tony. Ten years of grief, anger, and confusion. Honestly speaking the worst ten years of his life. He had the twins and he loved them more than life itself but witnessing his wife, the mother of his children get shot in the head. Just seconds after she another bullet hit her in the abdomen but was spared by her bullet-proof vest. The last words he ever spoke to her being a confession that he was glad she was safe. Because he didn't want to raise Holly on his own. How could he be so selfish? He still asked himself that everyday, every time he looked in the mirror, Saw Kate's picture, noticed the twins miss their mother or feel left out for not having a mother, or even woke up alive in the morning. Ten years and he still couldn't talk about her without crying. In time everybody learned not to mention her name. Even the twins never brought up their mother. They stopped asking questions long ago and when new friends ask they simply replied that "She was not around anymore." Leaving them to decide for themselves if she was dead or had left the family.

* * *

The first days after Kate died were the worst. Gibbs took him to his home and Abby and McGee kept the twins. That was just before they divorced. He knew that it was his fault that their marriage had ended and that only added to the self hatred. He didn't get out of bed for the four days between Kate's death and flying to Indiana for her funeral. He hated that her grave was so far away but she had family plots there.

* * *

"_Tony! You have to get out of bed! The plane leaves in three hours and you haven't showered or changed in days!" Gibbs yelled._

"_No" Tony argued._

"_Dammit Tony you still have Kate's blood all over you!" Gibbs yelled._

"_Don't you care? What if somebody treated you like this when Shannon and Kelly died?" Tony asked._

"_Of course I care! That's why I don't want you to lie in bed and rot before you are even dead!" Gibbs yelled._

"_Why? You said after Shannon died you had nothing to live for." Tony questioned._

"_Because Tony I lost my daughter too when I lost Shannon. Holly and Noah are still alive. They are alive and they are scared, and they need their daddy. Do you know how selfish it would be to just wallow yourself to death in self pity and leave your children orphaned?" Gibbs asked._

"_I can't...I just can't." Tony sobbed._

"_Yes you can." Gibbs assured._

"_How do you know?" Tony asked._

"_Because me, Abby, McGee, Ducky, and Jimmy are all on your side and will be there for you whenever you need us. All you have to do is let us in." Gibbs explained._

"_Jimmy? I thought it left." Tony asked._

"_Gerald had to go to rehab for a pill addiction and Ducky only wanted Jimmy." Gibbs explained._

"_Will I ever be happy again?" Tony asked._

"_I am not undermining your loss but I lost way more than you can even imagine and I like to think I am happy. So I know you can be too," Gibbs explained._

"_Will I ever love again? You never did. Not for really anyway." Tony asked._

"_You can love again but you will have to learn how to love again." Gibbs replied._

* * *

Gibbs's words the day they flew out to Kate's funeral stuck with Tony more than anything else. _You can love again but you will have to learn how to love again. _He wanted to believe his boss's words but it had been ten years and he hadn't felt anything close to the love he felt for Kate. He had only had one serious relationship in the past ten years. That was Jeanne Benoit just over a year after Kate died. The tragic thing was that he really did love her but their whole relationship was just a carefully orchestrated undercover mission from Director Sheppard. He tried to fight his feelings but his heart was just starting to heal and he fell for her hard and fast. It lasted a year then the truth came out. That he was not Tony DiNardo bachelor and film professor at Monroe University but Tony DiNozzo widowed NCIS agent and father of twins. Jeanne accused him of murdering her father and said that he had broken her heart. She had no idea what a broken heart truly felt like.

* * *

_Tony slid down to the floor of the elevator. He had been cleared of murder charges not that any of that mattered. At this pointed he wouldn't mind going to prison. Being away from woman who could break his heart. Just going through the motions and existing. He knew his kids would be better off in foster-care. He had given them all the love he could but he knew he had come up short of a good father even an adequate father. He sat there and cried for hours. Until Gibbs found him and convinced him to go home._

* * *

After the incident with Jeanne, Tony swore off of woman and love. He pulled himself together forthe second time in three years and became a devoted single dad. He coached the twins PAL soccer teams. He was at all of Noah's football games and Holly's basketball games. He taught both twins piano. Noah quit after two years but Holly kept it up. He even danced on stage with Holly the year she took Ballet and they had a mother's day recital. Still he couldn't do everything. He couldn't take Noah to the mother/son dances and he couldn't be at Holly's girl-scout sleepovers and camping trips. Abby stepped up where she could but it she had to focus on her own son Christopher as well. Sometimes Tony felt guilty for not trying to give his children a mom but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't take the risk of his heart being shattered again. Gibbs said he had to learn to love again but to Tony it was almost like he had suffered a traumatic brain injury and despite his best efforts he could not relearn to love or so he thought.

"Got a call from the middle school, DiNozzo." Gibbs called as Tony stepped out of the elevator fresh cup of coffee in hand.

"Are the twins OK?" Tony asked fearing the worst.

"Not sure all the teacher said was that Holly had some trouble in English class and that it would be best if you picked her up today. You have the afternoon off.." Gibbs explained.

"Are you sure it was Holly?" Tony asked. Holly never had trouble with school. Sure she got in the odd fight but those calls came from the Principal. Noah was the twin who struggled academically.

"Yes Tony I asked to make sure. Miss. David assured me that she wasn't in trouble but that she needed some help." Gibbs explained.

"Do you know Miss. David?" Jimmy asked he was making plans with McGee to take Justin and his neighbors kids to the planetarium over the weekend.

"No she came in this quarter when the old teacher went on maternity leave. Have had a chance to meet her yet." Tony explained.

"Well Gibbs had her on speaker and she sounded hot. Of course not as hot as Breena and I would never cheat but you know you are single." Jimmy rambled.

"I told ya Autopsy Gremlin I swore off the ladies. Holly is the only woman I need and she needs me right now. So I have to go." Tony replied picking up his jacket and walking out of the bullpen. Little did he know that his life was about to change...

* * *

**A/N: What sort of trouble is Holly in? Tony meets Miss. David in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	3. The Facts Of Life

Tony pulled into the parking lot of James Evelyn Middle School. His mind had been racing the whole drive there. Wondering what sort of trouble Holly had gotten into. Gibbs had said that Miss. David had assured him that Holly was not in trouble but what if Gibbs was lying so Tony wouldn't drive angry? No Gibbs wouldn't lie like that. Had something happened to Holly? No in that case the nurse or one of the administrators would have contacted him. He parked in one of the visitor/parent parking spots, got out of his car, and started to walk inside. He saw Noah sitting on the front steps with a few of the other remaining car-riders.

"Noah what are you doing here?" Tony asked.

"Miss. David said you were going to pick up Holly. So I just decided to just ride home with you rather than take the bus." Noah explained.

"I thought you were going to meet Chris." Tony replied.

"No he had to stay after for an emergency computer club meeting." Noah replied.

"Emergency computer club meeting?" Tony questioned.

"I don't know dad. Holly's the brains of the family." Noah replied.

"Did you take your inhaler?" Tony asked.

"Yes dad" Noah sighed.

"Hey it's my job to worry about you." Tony replied.

"I know hey do you know anything about Holly? Miss. David just asked me for a reliable number and told me she had some trouble." Noah asked.

"I know as much as you do." Tony replied.

"Guess I'll wait in the car." Noah replied.

"OK I will be out soon. Keep the windows down." Tony replied tossing Noah the keys.

* * *

Tony watched Noah walk back to the car and climb in the backseat. He waited until he saw his son's elbow poking out of the window. He hated that he had to worry about his son so much. At thirteen he really should be more independent but circumstances had gotten in the way and now he had to be a little more careful with his son than his daughter. Which made Miss. David's call even more troubling. Holly had gone through seven and a half years of school without any trouble with any of her classes and now all of the sudden two weeks into the third quarter of eighth grade. He was getting a call from one of her teachers. If it were Noah he wouldn't have worried at all. He would have just come to the school and explained the situation and gotten him a tutor in whatever subject. Miss. David was new but she had taken over the previous English teacher's classroom. He opened the door and saw Holly sitting on the back row. Her glasses resting on the bookshelf behind her. He looked over to the teacher's desk and saw a shorter olive skinned woman with black hair pulled back into a tight pony-tail. She was absolutely stunning. Tony was grateful that he was not looking at her in a bar or out in the real world. Because if she wasn't his children's teacher. It would be very hard for him to keep his vow to stay away from woman and dating.

"Hello?" Miss. David called.

"Uh I am Tony DiNozzo, Holly and Noah's father." Tony introduced.

"It is very nice to meet you, Mr. DiNozzo. I am Ziva David." Ziva replied.

"Ziva? That's an interesting name." Tony commented.

"It's Israeli" Ziva explained.

"You had called about Holly. What is going on with her? Is she OK?" Tony asked.

"Um how should you put this Holly's, Aunt Flo came into town today." Ziva explained.

"Holly doesn't have an Aunt Flo and no relatives are visiting. Besides wouldn't that be something I would call you about?" Tony questioned.

"I guess I will have to be blunt. Holly started her period today." Ziva explained.

"He...Her p...period? Like the menstrual can make babies woman cycle?" Tony stuttered.

"I guess one could put it that way. Anyway when Holly came to class today I noticed that she had a little blood on the back of her pants. I pulled her aside after class, let her know what was going on, and took her to the nurses office. She gave her a pad and explained to her how to use it. I hung around and told Holly just to come back to my room after class. She was pretty upset but I had to get to class. The nurse managed to get her calmed down and let her go to the locker room and get her gym shorts to change into." Ziva explained.

"Oh poor, Holly." Tony moaned.

"It is alright Mr. DiNozzo. I have been a teacher for ten years. At least once a year a girl will get her first period and be clueless. I always keep supplies in my desk just in case but I had just given away my last one this morning. Luckily the nurse is stocked up at all times. She gave Holly a starter pack but she rushed out and left it on the table." Ziva explained handing Tony a small pink plastic bag.

"Thank you" Tony replied nervously.

"Don't worry Mr. DiNozzo it is just a bag. It won't bite. Just give it to Holly's mother when you get home and she will take care of everything from here." Ziva assured.

"No I can't do that. Holly's mom died ten years ago." Tony explained.

"Oh I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just I have only been here five days and I have almost a hundred students every day. I haven't gotten around to checking all the personal information. I just asked Noah for the answer most likely to get an answer. When your boss picked up I thought that the twins mother just couldn't always be reached maybe she worked outside or was deployed." Ziva explained nervously.

"No we don't talk about it. It's a long story." Tony replied.

"Here this is my personal cell number. Give it to Holly if she ever needs to talk about girl things. My mother died when I was around Holly's age. So I had to go through puberty without a mom too. I depended on the help of strong females around me." Ziva explained.

"My friend Abby has been helping Holly since Kate died and my friend Jimmy's wife helps her out too." Tony explained.

"Well still I want her to know she is not alone." Ziva replied handing Tony two slips of paper.

"Uh you wrote your number twice." Tony replied studying the slips.

"I know um every Saturday I have a parent/teacher breakfast at Shirley's Diner. It is not an official thing but I like to hear parents concerns in a more casual environment. If you want to come just call me so I can know which booth to sit at." Ziva explained.

"Yeah I think I will be there." Tony replied.

"Good, I am hoping to get at least one parent to attend. I am worried people will think it's stupid. I was at a high school in a small town in Pennsylvania until this year and it got a strong turn out but I don't know if city people will feel the same way." Ziva explained.

"No it's a great idea." Tony assured.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Tony having to deal with Holly becoming a woman and poor Holly not having a mom to help her. Don't worry Ziva wasn't directly hitting on Tony. She just wants to help Holly as much as possible. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	4. Now What?

As much as Tony tried to fight it. He could not stop thinking about Ziva. He wished that Gibbs was there to slap him on the back of the head. He couldn't think of her as Ziva the radiant, exotic, angel. He had to think of her as Miss. David his children's English teacher. Then there was that pesky vow to never love again he had made. He looked at his children. Noah was in the backseat playing a game on his phone and Holly was beside him. Completely pale, holding the pink bag on her. Tony felt for his daughter. He thought it was tough growing up without his mom. He could not imagine how hard it must be for Holly especially now. As hard as he tried to be a super dad being both the mom and the dad. There were certain things he couldn't do for her. His understanding of the menstrual cycle was that it started in the tween years and ended in the forties or fifties. It happened once a month when the uterine lining fell away. That was the text book explanation from the books he bought when it first hit him that he was going to raise Holly on his own. The rest of his knowledge came from his youth woman had hair trigger emotions and didn't want to have sex or maybe they couldn't. He could still feel the pain in his stomach from when he asked Kate for sex during one of her periods. Maybe he did need a woman in his life to be a mother for the twins. He had Abby and Breena but they weren't mothers or even step-mothers. They were just friends more like aunts or cousins. Then there was Miss. David. _Miss. David_ she would be a great mom but no she was. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice that he was drifting lanes. Until a car blared it's horn at him.

"Jesus Christ, dad watch out!" Holly yelled.

"Oh I am sorry" Tony apologized getting back over into his lane.

"What is wrong with you?! We could have been killed!" Holly snapped.

"I am sorry. I was just distracted." Tony apologized.

"Idiot" Holly muttered under her breath.

"What's wrong with her?" Noah asked from the backseat.

"She isn't feeling well." Tony explained.

"What's wrong? Is she contagious?" Noah asked.

"No don't worry about it." Tony assured

"Just make sure I don't get sick." Noah warned.

"Achoo" Holly sneezed in Noah's face.

"What was that for?" Noah asked.

"Being an idiot." Holly snapped.

"What's in the bag, crazy pills? Cause you are crazy." Noah retorted.

"Jerk" Holly sniffed.

"Holly I am sorry." Noah apologized.

"No you aren't. You just don't care." Holly sniffed.

"It's OK, Hollz." Tony assured.

* * *

Tony was officially lost. He didn't know how to handle it when somebody cried. Most of the guys he knew didn't cry at least not in public. Well Jimmy and McGee during his Probie days but they weren't his little girl and when Abby cried all he had to do was tell Gibbs that Abby was crying and it was taken care of. Holly had cried before but this wasn't a scraped knee, dead goldfish, or falling out with Julia Fielding. This was a major life change that made her into a woman. A woman in a house full of men. It was so much easier when she was just a girl. A girl could be one of the guys but she had breasts now, there was a pink razor in the bathroom, and now she had her period. She was a woman and sure she could wear baggy shirts and keep her hair short when she ran around with Noah and Christopher but she was still a woman. A woman who would have feelings and hormones. Why couldn't boys develop faster. He could handle Noah's awkward erections and exploring his body. God and every pair of socks he had in high school knew that. Holly was a a different story. He couldn't handle that. He hadn't lived it but Kate had and Kate was six feet under. The rest of the drive home was silent except for Holly's soft crying. When they got home Noah made a beeline for the fridge and Holly ran upstairs to her room. Tony reminded Noah to get started on his homework while his ramen noodles boiled. Then went upstairs to Holly's room. He knocked on the door until Holly yelled for him to come inside. Holly was lying on her bed facing the wall. The pink bag was lying beside her on the bed.

"Hollz? Are you OK?" Tony asked.

"No" Holly sniffed.

"Want to talk about it?" Tony asked.

"No" Holly replied.

"Do you want me to call Abby or Breena?" Tony asked.

"No" Holly replied.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" Tony asked.

"No" Holly replied.

"What can I do for you?" Tony asked.

"Nothing you can't do anything." Holly replied.

"Well I can still call Abby or Breena and they can help you." Tony offered.

"I don't want Abby or Breena and I certainly don't want you or Noah! I just want mom! I am sick of this. Miss. Fielding was just learning to use her wheelchair when Julia started last year but she was still there to help her. I am sick of being the girl without a mom!" Holly cried.

"I know, Holl and I am sorry." Tony apologized.

"You don't understand. You don't understand." Holly sobbed.

"I know I don't." Tony replied solemnly.

"Nobody does" Holly sniffed.

"Miss. David lost her mom when she was a kid too and she said you could call her anytime you needed to talk." Tony replied handing her one of the slips of paper.

* * *

That night Tony found himself growing restless. Holly had only emerged from her room long enough to eat dinner and Noah was playing soccer in the yard with Chris. He just laid on the couch and starred at Ziva's phone number. Why would Miss. David give her phone number to him. Just for some breakfast thing she held on Saturday mornings. Was it possible that she liked him? Was he ready to move on and love somebody else? Would the kids be ready? Holly wanted a mom but he didn't know how Noah would react. Noah's problems had happened right before Kate died and her death was extra traumatic for him. Finally Tony realized there was only one person who could help him at a time like this. He grabbed his keys and walked out of the house.

"Noah! I'm going to Gibbs's house! Tell Holly if she asks about me!" Tony called.

"Will do" Noah replied.

"Come inside soon you are getting wheezy." Tony told his son.

"Fine" Noah sighed.

"I gotta go soon anyway." Chris replied.

"Keep an eye on your sister she isn't feeling well." Tony reminded.

"She's acting so weird!" Noah whined.

"I'll stay and keep an eye on her. " Chris offered.

"How did McGee's son end up being such a player?" Tony wondered aloud as he climbed into his car.

* * *

Gibbs set his sand paper down on his work bench and studied his latest creation. It was a small bookshelf for the Palmer's spare room. They had given up on getting a baby through pregnancy or adoption and were going to make the spare room into a small library. He felt bad for them, they had tried so hard for so long and had nothing to show for it. He secretly hoped that now that they weren't trying anymore. She would just happen to get pregnant. He picked the sandpaper back up and went to work evening out the bad spots. He heard footsteps on the stairs and then somebody took a seat on the landing.

"Problems Tony?" Gibbs asked his Senior Field Agent and surrogate son.

"Oh yeah" Tony replied.

"Is Holly OK? Do you need more time off?" Gibbs asked.

"She got her first period." Tony replied.

"Oh" Gibbs replied.

"I don't know what to do for her. I don't know how any of that stuff works and she won't talk to Abby or Breena." Tony sighed.

"Call Breena in the morning. She can help Holly." Gibbs replied.

"Why not Abby?" Tony asked.

"Abby is nice and she adores Holly but she can be a little intense and right now Holly needs somebody level headed." Gibbs explained.

"OK" Tony replied.

"What's her name?" Gibbs asked.

"Excuse me?" Tony questioned.

"I said what's her name?" Gibbs repeated.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked.

"Well I doubt seriously that you drove all the way over here at eight o'clock at night to tell me that your daughter started her period." Gibbs explained.

"Yeah but how do you know it's a woman?" Tony asked.

"You have been flustered ever since you got here. So what's her name?" Gibbs asked.

"Miss. Ziva David" Tony replied.

"Holly's teacher?" Gibbs asked.

"Uh-huh" Tony replied.

"Is she single?" Gibbs asked.

"She's _Miss_ David" Tony reminded.

"Well does she have a boyfriend?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know we just talked about Holly and she gave me her number. For Holly and so we could keep in touch." Tony explained.

"Well it sounds like she likes you." Gibbs replied.

"I really like her but I don't know if I am ready." Tony explained.

"Tony it's been ten years since Kate died. I know it's hard she would want you to be happy." Gibbs explained.

"What about the twins?" Tony asked.

"What about them?" Gibbs asked.

"What if they don't like me dating again?" Tony questioned.

"The only reasons for your children to dictate your relationship. Is if your girlfriend is hurting them or taking advantage of you and they come to you." Gibbs explained.

"I know but what if they hate me for dating again?" Tony asked.

"Kate died when they were two. Noah barely remembers her and I don't know if Holly remembers her or the idea of her." Gibbs explained.

"I know but it's been just the three of us for so long." Tony explained.

"It will be a big adjustment for everyone but you will get used to it. Together." Gibbs explained.

"So I should go for it?" Tony asked.

"Go for it." Gibbs replied smiling. His boy was finally ready to move on.

* * *

**A/N: Will Tony take Gibbs's advice and "Go for it?" Tony and Ziva have breakfast together in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	5. Advice

The decision to stop by the twenty-four hour convenience store and grab a cup of coffee. Must have been divine intervention. Because when he returned home, he discovered Holly sitting slumped over on the couch. An old photo-album resting on her lap. Holly had inherited her mom's love of history, photography, and photographs. She had also inherited her father's insomnia. So it wasn't uncommon to find her sitting up late at night going through the old family photo-albums. Needless to say Tony didn't think anything of it. He started upstairs his half empty coffee cup in his hands. Then he heard it the sound of his daughter's soft crying. He immediately raced back to the couch and sat down beside her. He reached over and placed one hand on her shoulder. Using the other to lift up the front cover of the photo-album and see which one she was looking at. Tony felt his chest tighten and had to fight to keep his own tears out of his eyes. This was the photo-album from when the twins were little and when Kate was still alive.

"I don't get it. Why did she have to die. I don't even remember her. I try to trigger my memories. I'll look at pictures and go into your room and feel her clothes and spray her perfume so I can smell it. They say that scent is the most powerful memory trigger but nothing works." Holly sobbed.

"You were only two when she died." Tony offered.

"People can remember as far back as when they were a year and a half old." Holly explained.

"I know but most people are older. I wish you guys remembered her too." Tony sighed.

"Noah does" Holly retorted.

"Noah only remembers her because he remembers being sick and I am grateful everyday that your mother and you didn't get sick." Tony explained.

"I wish I had been sick! So that I can remember her!" Holly snapped.

"No you do not. The only good part about Noah being sick is that he remembers her. It was hell for your mom with both of us being sick and it was hell for me knowing that it was my fault that my son could die. Besides the fact that even if you had gotten sick. It doesn't mean that you would remember your mother. It would just mean that you would have been sick. You would have to take an inhaler every day and you would have to go to the doctor for every little cold and sniffle. It is not easy for me and Noah." Tony explained.

"I don't want the lecture about how lucky I am that I didn't get the plague! I just want to remember my mom. I just want to remember her." Holly sniffed.

"I know, Holly believe me I know." Tony replied reassuringly.

"Why did she have to die? Why did she have to take that job? Why couldn't she have been a normal mom and stayed home or done a normal mom job?" Holly questioned.

"I have the same job." Tony reminded.

"I know but a lot of kids have dad's who are cops." Holly replied.

"A lot of kids have mom's who are cops too." Tony reminded.

"I know. I know how sexist that sounds but God it's hard." Holly sniffed.

"I know" Tony replied.

"Can you say anything besides "I know"?" Holly questioned.

"What do you want to here?" Tony asked.

"I don't know! I just want to hear something." Holly cried.

"How about this? I am here for you." Tony suggested.

* * *

Even with his cup of coffee the night before and the three he chugged before work that morning. Tony was still struggling to keep himself awake as he sat at his desk the next morning. Bishop and Gibbs were down in the shooting range taking an accuracy test and McGee was vigorously typing away at his keyboard. Without warning a large black hand slammed itself down on to his desk.

"Look sharp Agent DiNozzo!" Vance barked.

"I'm sorry director." Tony yawned.

"Grab yourself some coffee and then get up to my office." Vance ordered.

"I was just resting my eyes. I am sorry it won't happen again." Tony apologized.

"Just get up to my office." Vance replied.

* * *

Tony pulled himself up from his desk and stumbled to the break-room. He grabbed his "American Pie" coffee mug from the cupboard, grabbed the coffee pot, and poured until the cup was almost overflowing. He rode the elevator up to the director's office. Praying that he wasn't in too much trouble. He dreaded having to tell the twins that he had lost his job. Even more he dreaded Gibbs finding out that he had been fired.

"Gibbs told me what happened with Holly yesterday." Vance explained.

"Director before you fire me please remember I am a single father too. Holly needed me and there was nobody else except Noah and he's more clueless than me." Tony pleaded.

"No Tony I understand. Believe me. I just wanted to give you something." Vance replied handing Tony a small gift bag.

"Uh thanks" Tony replied.

"It's a box of chocolate and ear plugs." Vance explained.

"Thanks but I am watching my weight and I don't want to ignore Holly." Tony replied.

"It's for the twins chocolate for Holly and ear plugs for Noah. Trust me when Kayla gets weepie it drives Jared crazy and they fight but if he can't hear her. He can't get mad." Vance explained.

"Well hopefully this will help." Tony replied.

"If Holly needs any help Kayla is a great counselor." Vance replied.

"Can I ask you a personal question director?" Tony asked.

"Sure" Vance replied.

"Was Jackie alive when Kayla had her first one?" Tony asked.

"Kayla started about six months before Jackie died." Vance explained.

"I feel for Holly. She wants a mom but I don't know if I am ready." Tony explained.

"Try at least try." Vance replied.

"I like the twins English teacher." Tony explained,

"Gibbs told me." Vance replied.

"Gibbs told me to go for it." Tony replied.

"Sounds like Gibbs." Vance replied.

"I know but Gibbs never had to date with kids. I do and the last thing I want to is hurt the twins. They have been through enough

"Start out slow. Go to one of her breakfasts invite her to the movies with the twins and your usual group. Then small outings coffee or some other small thing. Then ease into real dates. Start with just dinner or a movie and then ease into more activities." Vance explained.

"What if she rejects me or we break-up?" Tony asked.

"Then at least you put yourself back out there and that's a major step, believe me." Vance replied.

* * *

**A/N: Will Vance's advice help Tony at all? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	6. Saturday Morning

Tony set his alarm for seven am Saturday morning. It was strange for him to actually be planning on waking up early on a Saturday he didn't have to work. He couldn't remember the last time he had electively woken up that early on a weekend. Not since the twins had hit those glorious wanting to sleep all day years. He loved his children and hated that they were going up so fast but he did not miss the days of them jumping on his bed at six am every Saturday and Sunday morning. Sunday's weren't so bad because he had promised Kate he would take the twins to church every Sunday. A promise he had kept and made sure Gibbs kept the four months he was sent away to agent afloat. To make a long story short he was not a fan of early mornings. So he did groan and hit snooze the first time the alarm went off. It wasn't until the alarm went off again and he started to reach over and press snooze again. That he remembered the breakfast he had promised Miss. David he would attend. He pulled himself out of bed, had a quick shower, got dressed, and then headed downstairs. He found Holly sitting at the table. She had a plate of eggs and cup of coffee sitting in front of her.

"Holly? What are you doing up?" Tony asked.

"I could ask you the same question." Holly replied.

"I am just meeting some friends at Shirley's diner." Tony replied.

"Oh you are going to Miss. David's thing?" Holly asked.

"You knew about that?" Tony asked.

"Yeah she told us to tell our parents." Holly replied.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tony asked.

"Noah and I decided to not tell you." Holly explained.

"I understand Noah not wanting to say anything but you usually love it when your teachers brag on you." Tony asked.

"We were worried that you would think it was a set-up." Holly explained.

"Why would I think that?" Tony asked.

"Miss. Johanson in first grade." Holly explained.

"I had forgotten about that. Well even if I had thought it was a set-up. At least now I know that Miss. David is not a seventy-four year old widow who calls me Tory." Tony explained.

"Ohh do you like Miss. David?" Holly asked.

"No well that is none of your business." Tony replied.

"Whatever you say dad. You weren't enraged by me mentioning setting you up with Miss. David. Just remember. Sex doesn't make you cool and you can get pregnant the first time." Holly teased.

"You remember that when you meet a boy with a letter jacket and a fast car." Tony replied.

"You mean you?" Holly asked.

"Any guy they are all the same. Even the innocent looking McGeek, Autopsy Gremlin types." Tony explained.

"I know" Holly replied.

"Enough of this sex talk. Since when do you wake up so early on a Saturday?" Tony asked.

"Since always" Holly replied.

"Really? I thought you and Noah were sleeping in?" Tony questioned.

"I tried to start sleeping in when Noah did but I was always so restless. After a few weeks I gave up and started getting up early again. I just made sure to be quiet so I wouldn't wake you guys and clean up after myself." Holly explained.

"OK question two. When did you learn how to cook and make coffee?" Tony asked.

"Grandpa Gibbs taught me when I stayed back in Stillwater with him and helped him clean out Great Grandpa Jack's house." Holly explained.

"I can't believe how much you are growing up." Tony replied.

"Well we needed a woman of the house." Holly replied.

"I know but still." Tony replied.

* * *

Tony pulled into the parking lot of Shirley's diner. There were only a handful of cars in the parking lot and most belonged to the employees and regular customers. The only car Tony didn't recognize was a red mini cooper with a dent in the bumper. His heart sank he knew this was too good to be true. He had been set-up. Had Miss. David wanted to humiliate him or had she just said that it was a parents meeting to get him to come. Because she doubted he would agree to a real date? He couldn't decide which was worse. He almost turned around but he was hungry and he really should have some coffee before he went back on the road. He got back out of his car and walked inside. He saw Miss. David sitting alone in the large back corner table.

"Mr. DiNozzo! Over here!" Ziva cried waving him over.

"Hello, Miss. David." Tony replied taking a seat.

"Please call me Ziva." Ziva replied.

"Well I guess in that case you can call me Tony. Anyway did nobody else show?" Tony asked.

"Truth is I told you nine but the breakfast really is at ten." Ziva admitted.

"Look I like you but I don't know if I want a serious relationship yet." Tony explained.

"No I just wanted to ask you a few personal questions but 1 promised I would pick Eliana up no later than noon." Ziva explained.

"Eliana?" Tony questioned.

"My daughter she is three." Ziva explained.

"Divorced or widowed?" Tony asked.

"Adopted it's a long story." Ziva explained.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Tony asked.

"The twins are a delight to have in class. Holly is absolutely brilliant. She makes my job so much easier. I have never taught AP before and I would be completely lost if not for her." Ziva explained.

"Sounds like Holly. She has her mother's need to nurture. Noah is a great kid too." Tony replied.

"Oh don't get me wrong I adore Noah. He is the sweetest kid but he is not as book smart as his sister. It happens a lot with twins one is more academically inclined while the other is more artsy or athletic. As long as they try. I do not mind." Ziva explained.

"It's a little more complicated than that with Noah." Tony explained.

"What do you mean?" Ziva asked.

"Noah has a little brain-damage." Tony explained.

"What? How?" Ziva asked.

"When the twins were two. Just before Kate died actually. Noah and I were infected with the pneumonic plague." Tony explained.

"How?" Ziva asked.

"I am a federal agent, NCIS. Kate was too and one day somebody sent me an envelope filled with the plague. Kate and Holly were both exposed but not infected. Noah and I didn't get so lucky. The doctors initially told Kate that if he survived. I had a fifteen percent chance and he only had a five percent chance." Tony explained.

"Five percent? That's almost nothing." Ziva gasped.

"He got incredibly lucky but the doctors told Kate that if he survived he would more likely than not have severe brain-damage. They doubted he would progress past two mentally. He proved them wrong but he is always going to be slow and unfortunately he has some bad health problems." Tony explained.

"I knew he had asthma." Ziva commented.

"Asthma, some heart issues that thankfully are not too serious and severe kidney problems." Tony explained.

"That's rough." Ziva replied.

"It is but he his a strong kid." Tony replied.

"Well like I said, Holly and him have an amazing father." Ziva replied.

* * *

**A/N: I thought it would be interesting for Ziva to have a daughter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	7. Possible Crisis

The breakfast on Saturday had made it official, Tony was in love with Miss. David. The last time he had felt anything even close to this was the incident with Jeanne. He shuddered at the memory of how that had ended. Still even with Jeanne he hadn't felt feelings this strong. No this was true love. The feeling of love he had not felt since Kate. He knew that everybody was right and he had to taken it slow but he did have to put himself back out there. It had been ten years since Kate had been killed and the twins were growing up fast. Before he knew it they would be out of the house and starting families of their own. He had always thought that he would be fine on his own when the time came but the closer it got. The more he dreaded the prospect. He had no idea how Gibbs did it but he had a new found respect for his boss. Monday morning he strolled into the bullpen and looked up to see that he was alone with Gibbs. He looked at his watch and saw that he was early but only be four or five minutes. McGee was sometimes late depending on how much help Delilah and Julia needed getting ready but Bishop was never late.

"Morning Boss, where are the Probies?" Tony asked.

"Bishop is on her way an accident rerouted her and McGee probably isn't coming in." Gibbs explained.

"Why not?" Tony asked.

"He had to rush Delilah to the hospital." Gibbs explained.

"Shit what's wrong?" Tony asked.

"She was just extremely sick this morning. It's probably nothing but paraplegics are pretty susceptible and McGee hates taking risks." Gibbs explained.

"I hope she's OK. She means so much to Probie and McProbie Junior and Julia needs her mom." Tony replied.

"Try not to dwell on it too much. I am sure that McGee is doing enough worrying for all of us. Anyway if they are still at the hospital this afternoon. McGee wants one of us to get Chris and Julia from computer club." Gibbs explained.

"I'll go. I should probably check in with the twins teachers." Tony replied.

"You mean Miss. David?" Gibbs asked eyebrow raised.

"Well, I mean Noah has had trouble with English the past few years and I am sure she has something to report on Holly." Tony explained nervously.

"So how did it go on Saturday?" Gibbs asked.

"Really well. She actually told me an hour early to get to know me better." Tony replied.

"Oh really?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah she wanted to know about the twins." Tony explained.

"Glad she is interested in your kids beyond them just being students." Gibbs replied.

"She loves all her students." Tony replied.

"I think she likes you too." Gibbs replied.

"Oh really? Are we acting like high school girls?" Tony asked.

"I don't know we could get in a pillow fight and knowing you. You would end up in the hospital and if Miss. David rushes to your bedside. We know she likes you." Gibbs suggested.

"Any other suggestions boss?" Tony asked.

"What Vance and I told you. Take it slow but do go for it." Gibbs explained.

"How slow?" Tony asked.

"As slow as you need." Gibbs replied.

"Kids may complicate it though." Tony replied.

"I am sure the twins won't be a problem." Gibbs assured.

"I'm not worried about the twins but Ziva has a three year old daughter." Tony explained.

"Shouldn't be a problem." Gibbs assured.

* * *

Holly walked into her English class and took her usual seat right beside her best-friend in the world Julia Fielding-McGee. Julia and her bad been best friend's since pre-school when they infamously rebelled against playing house with the other girls and more open minded boys. The teachers and parents thought they were making a bold statement about gender roles. In reality they had no idea what "gender roles" were and "feminism" sounded like something you would say you had to get out of school. So you could stay home and watch cartoons. They just didn't want play house because Holly didn't have a mom and Julia didn't have a dad. They bonded even more when they got older and learned that they had both lost their "missing parent" in the line of duty. Kate was shot on the rooftop and Clay Fielding had been killed in Afghanistan around the same time. Julia and her mom Delilah had moved away in the second grade but they moved back two years earlier. Not long after that Delilah met McGee at the twins birthday party and they ended up going out and falling in love. They married eight months later. Just after Delilah and Julia were critically injured in an explosion. Courtesy of NCIS's enemy at the time Parsa. Leaving Delilah paralyzed from the waste down and Julia lost her left leg and scars on the remainder of her left side. The facial wounds were treated by a plastic surgeon and were minimal to begin with but the ones on her arm were more visible and harder to make unnoticeable. Shortly after the explosion Delilah got another job offer and Julia moved with her to Dubai but Julia had such severe homesickness that she ended up spending the year her mom was overseas, living with her step family.

"Hey Jules" Holly greeted.

"Hi Holly" Julia replied.

"You OK?" Holly asked.

"My mom is in the hospital." Julia replied.

"What's wrong?" Holly asked.

"I don't know my dad took her before Chris and l left this morning." Julia explained.

"I hope she is OK." Holly replied.

"Me too Holly." Julia replied.

* * *

Tony heard the elevator ding and looked up from his computer. Her saw McGee enter the bullpen as if he was walking on air, with a huge grin on his face. Tony looked at Gibbs and Bishop confused. That wasn't exactly how somebody who's wife was sick in the hospital would act. Either they had gotten excellent news and Delilah was going to be just fine or something was severely wrong and McGee was just in denial.

"How is she, McGee?" Gibbs asked.

"Great everything is great!" McGee replied.

"I thought, Delilah was in the hospital." Bishop commented.

"Yeah, Probie are you alright?" Tony asked.

"We are fine honestly." McGee assured.

"So what's the verdict?" Gibbs asked.

"I am proud to say that there will be a new addition to the McGee family on July twenty-third or sooner if Delilah goes into labor earlier." McGee explained.

"That's great how far along is she?" Bishop asked.

"Five or six weeks but they want to deliver at thirty-seven weeks because she is high risk due to her paraplegia. It will be a cesarean obviously." McGee explained.

"I am happy for you, McGee." Gibbs replied.

"Congrats Probie. Had you been trying long?" Tony asked.

"Oh this was a total surprise. Abby didn't want anymore kids. So I had a vasectomy just after Chris was born and Delilah thought her injuries meant no more children." McGee explained.

"How high risk is she?" Tony asked.

"Her pregnancy is treated as high risk due to her paraplegia but paraplegic's have healthy pregnancies and deliver healthy babies every day. They just want to monitor her extra close." McGee explained.

"Well I hope she has a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby." Tony replied.

"Me too, hey how did it go with Ziva?" McGee asked.

"It went great." Tony replied.

"Hey if you guys hit it off we may have a new crop of best friends." McGee replied.

"Don't rush things Probie. We just had breakfast. With a group." Tony replied.

"That's how it started with Delilah and me and we were married less than a year later. I just hope you guys don't get blown up." McGee replied.

"Yeah me too. That doesn't end so well for most couples." Tony replied.

* * *

**A/N: Will the McGee family's good news inspire Tony to take the next step with Ziva? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	8. Ready For Love

Tony was happy for McGee he really was. He knew that while Abby had wanted to stop at one child but his Probie had always dreamt of a big family. When he married Delilah, he adopted Julia and they became a family of four. Still McGee had dreamt of having at least one more baby. Now he was getting that wish. It wasn't that he was angry or resented his Probie. He was more jealous than anything. He wanted a baby, he wanted to be married again but even more than that. He wanted his old life back. He wanted Kate back and he wanted the twins to be little again. That evening he remained in the bullpen until well after the Probies had left and Gibbs had gone to say goodnight to Ducky and give Abby her last Caf-Pow of the day. The elevator dinged and Gibbs stepped inside.

"What are you doing here, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Thinking" Tony replied.

"Why can't you think at home. With your twins. It's almost six. I am sure they are worried sick. The last time you didn't come home or call was the incident with Agent Cade." Gibbs asked.

"McGee is having a baby, Boss." Tony replied.

"I know I was there." Gibbs replied.

"I really hope you mean in the bullpen when he announced it." Tony remarked.

"I can still give the twins a reason to worry." Gibbs warned slapping Tony on the back of the head.

"Right, anyway McGee is having a baby." Tony replied.

"We've established that. Now what's going on with you? Why is McGee and Delilah's pregnancy affecting you?" Gibbs asked.

"I am jealous OK!" Tony snapped.

"Why on Earth would you be jealous?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know. I can't explain it. I mean I went so many years not wanting to love again and I thought sure the twins were enough. Then I meet Miss. David and all of the sudden everything is thrown on it's axis. Now all of the sudden. I am ready to try this whole love thing again but even if we start dating. Babies aren't exactly something most people want right away." Tony explained.

"Well right now be happy for McGee and appreciate the twins. Be forever grateful Ari didn't take them that day as well." Gibbs offered.

"Why the hell is everything so fucking confusing?" Tony asked.

"It's hard to fall in love again after being hurt the way we were. I made three bad mistakes and now I am bitter and alone. You made one mistake and were heading down the same road. Yes you are blessed to still have your babies but they would eventually grow up and leave. The other difference is that you are doing something I don't have the courage to do and that is fall in love again." Gibbs explained.

"It happened so fast. It just flipped everything upside down." Tony replied nervously.

"Kate sent her to you." Gibbs replied.

"Why didn't Shannon send you anybody?" Tony asked.

"She did but I was too stupid hold on to it and now she is gone forever. Yes she had ALS in the end but we could have had time. Maybe we could have had a family." Gibbs explained.

"See that's the thing. What if I date Ziva and we get married but then she gets some terrible disease, in a car accident, or somebody kills her. She has a little girl. I don't want to leave two little girls without their mommy." Tony explained.

"Tony! You are not allowed to spend your life living in fear!" Gibbs snapped.

"I know but it's hard, boss. It's so hard." Tony replied.

"Get the twins fed and then come to my place at twenty one hundred. There is something that I want to show you." Gibbs replied.

"The last time I fell for that one McGee had burrowed Sarah's roommate's pet rat and dressed it up like a vampire." Tony sighed.

"You had photo-shopped his head on the body of a nineteen fifties nurse." Gibbs reminded.

"I know but I didn't do anything to you!" Tony whined.

"I know but still I want to see you in my basement at twenty one hundred or I will hunt you down and drag you there." Gibbs replied.

"Deal" Tony replied.

* * *

Ziva stripped off her jacket and hung it up on her coat-rack. She heard her baby girl laughing from the den. She picked up the two sided picture frame that sat on the small table by the front door. She held it in her hands and ran her fingers over the faces. She missed her family so much. They were all gone now. All except for Eliana and so many of them were bad. They had all started out good but life had forced them down the wrong path. That's why she had moved to America. She wanted her children to be spared that fate. The son she had lost still hated her. Even though it was nearly a decade ago. His death was cruel because. He was in America, he should have been safe but two teenagers fighting over a girl in the hallway had ended his life before it even began. The doctors had told her that the miscarriage and her injury shouldn't impact her ability to carry more children but still she had her fears. Not that it mattered. Adam had gone back to Israel once his responsibility was gone. They had reconnected when she went back for her father's funeral or so she had thought but it turned out that he had just wanted sex. He never called to check in on her and he hadn't even acknowledged her friend request on Facebook. She had finally cut him loose for good and besides she had Eliana in her life now. The little girl had been in her life since her dad died and her step-mom decided that she didn't want to raise a child. She didn't even know about her half-sister until she went back home for the funeral and saw Ruth with the baby. The baby girl that she was going to drop off at the orphanage. Ziva had could not let her sister grow up in an orphanage. So she had convinced Ruth to let her to take her home and raise her as her own. Balancing being a single mom and a teacher was not an easy task but she loved Eliana and wouldn't trade her for anything. She set the picture down and walked into the living room.

"Look who's here Eliana?" Grace cooed.

"Ima!" Eliana cried.

"Hi baby girl. Were you good for Grace" Ziva asked.

"Yes" Eliana replied.

"Was she?" Ziva asked.

"She was a perfect little angel. Much better than yesterday." Grace assured.

"Well thank you again and I will see you tomorrow." Ziva replied.

"Of course. Oh before I go. Did that dad come back to the school today?" Grace asked.

"No but he gets off late." Ziva replied.

"Have you at least called him?" Grace asked.

"No I was going to call him during my planning period but another one of my other students had a family emergency and I had to console her." Ziva explained.

"How about I stay a little longer and you try to call him?" Grace offered.

"No I need to be with my little girl. Besides he is still mourning his wife, the twins mother. I don't think he is ready to date." Ziva replied.

"Well don't let him slip through your finger-tips. You deserve happiness and Eliana deserves a father who will care for her." Grace replied.

"I will call tomorrow unless my students need me more." Ziva replied.

"Good" Grace replied.

* * *

Tony got the twins fed and listened to them talk about their days. Then was off to Gibbs's house by eight thirty. Reminding them that bedtime was still at eleven even if he wasn't home, reminding Noah to brush his teeth and take his medicine before bed, and giving Holly the secret signal reminding her to keep an eye on her brother. Before he left. Even with stopping at Dairy Queen to grab a blizzard. He still made it to Gibbs's house with five minutes to spare. He climbed out of the car and let himself into his boss's house. He didn't even have to ask. He just automatically walked down to the basement and found his boss working on the Palmer's bookshelf.

"Evening DiNozzo" Gibbs greeted.

"What did you want to see me about, Boss?" Tony asked.

"You knew Kate better than any of us and so I am sure you knew just how much she liked to be on top of everything." Gibbs explained.

"Of course that's what I loved about her." Tony replied.

"Well she knew what all LEO's and federal agents know. That there is always a risk and they could be killed at any time." Gibbs added.

"And she was." Tony sighed.

"She was always prepared." Gibbs replied.

"Why are you telling me this?" Tony asked.

"She asked me to give this to you. If anything ever happened to her." Gibbs explained handing Tony a box.

"Kate's been gone ten years. Why am I just getting this now?" Tony asked.

"This was to go to you when you were ready to start dating again." Gibbs explained.

* * *

**A/N: Good to know that Ziva has similar feelings as Tony. What is in the box that Kate left for Tony? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	9. The Blessing

Tony waited until the twins had gone to bed before he opened the box. He didn't even get it from the car until Noah reluctantly put down his tablet and went upstairs and Holly came down to tell him good night. He still wasn't ready for the twins to know about his desire to date again or anything that Kate may say to him. He knew that Kate had been a strict Catholic from the day she was born until the day that she died. He had been Catholic when his mother was alive and when Senior thought it would look good to attend church. He hadn't stepped in a church from the last service Senior made him attend at sixteen years old. Until the first time Kate drug him into a sanctuary when he twenty-two years old. He attended church every Sunday that he could because of the promise he had made to Kate but he was far from a religious scholar. What he did know was that strict Catholics were very against remarrying. He feared that Kate was telling him that if he dated again, he was violating her religion and she would forever hate him if he moved on from her. He pushed away the bad thoughts and then carefully lifted the lid off of the box. He slowly emptied the contents of the box on to the coffee table. He found an old photo album from when Kate was a child, several stray photos of him, Kate, and the twins, a necklace and pocket watch that had belonged to Kate's grandparents, he was to give to the twins on their eighteenth birthday. As well as a few random items he suspected were for the twins. The final contents were three video-tapes one for Holly, one for Noah, and one for himself. He put the pictures, mementos, and heirlooms back in the box and replaced the lid. He set the tapes on the table by the front door. Praying that McGee still had his machine that converted VHS's to DVD's and that wasn't among the things he sold when he had to make his town-house more accessible to Delilah and Julia. He wished that he hadn't thrown out their VCR when he purchased the new Blu-Ray player. He studied the tapes that lay on the small table and felt completely defeated. Kate had left these beautiful messages and his desire for the new and cutting edge had cost his family hearing her words one last time. Until he remembered the old kiddie TV the twins had, had in their playroom when they were growing up. It came with a built in VCR and DVD player. They had declared it babyish years ago and he had given them the old TV from his room when he replaced the living room TV. If he was remembering correctly the old TV was still in the closet of the spare bedroom. He walked upstairs and into the spare bedroom. To his disappointment that TV was gone. Until he remembered that Holly he had set it up in Holly's room when she was recovering from a strep-throat that summer. When she got better he had put the TV in _her _closet. He tip-toed across the hall into his daughter's room and quietly opened her closet. He quickly spotted the TV, thanking God that is daughter had inherited her mother's tidiness. If it were in Noah's room he would probably be crushed by a pile of junk right about now. He lifted the TV off the shelf and started to step back. In doing so he accidentally stepped on the bottom of Holly's rolling desk chair and started to fall. He managed to hang on to the TV but couldn't avoid falling on his butt with a heavy thud.

"Shit!" Tony cursed louder than he intended too.

"Dad what are you doing in here?" Holly asked.

"I needed your old TV." Tony explained.

"Why? We have three TV"s already set-up." Holly asked.

"I need a VHS player for something." Tony replied.

"What for?" Holly asked.

"Just something, go back to sleep." Tony replied.

"Your being weird." Holly sighed putting her head back on her pillow.

* * *

Tony took the TV downstairs and plugged it in. He was just using it for the VHS player so he didn't need to be near a cable or do much work to set it up. He just turned the TV on and put his tape in the VHS slot. He wished that he had a remote but Noah had spilled juice on that years ago. So he was stuck working the TV manually. It took about five minutes of messing around with the device before he manged to get the VHS to work. He smiled when he saw Kate sitting in the arm chair in the living room of the apartment they had before the twins were born and when they were tiny babies. His smile only grew when Kate sat back and he saw her large, pregnant belly. She must have been six months along with the twins when she made this. For a long time she just sat there nervously playing with her hands, she took a deep breath. Before finally starting to speak.

"_Tony if you are watching this either I am dead or you are just snooping around in my stuff again. Let's get this out of the way. If you are just snooping I want you to eject the tape, and put it back NOW!. Seriously why would you invade my privacy like that?! This is serious."_

Tony couldn't help but laugh at the way Kate was chastising him as if he were a small child. She had always been such mom. Which exactly what he needed and what he wished that the twins had, had for more than just under three years. His laughter stopped when he saw Gibbs step into the shot.

"_You heard her, DiNozzo! Eject the tape! Ya know what lean in close to the TV."_

Gibbs waited for a few seconds before raising his hand and making a slap motion. Tony erupted into laughter but quickly shut-up. Both Kate and Gibbs got serious looks on their faces. Gibbs raised his hand to his face and quickly stepped back out of the frame. Kate sat back in the chair and nervously ran her hand through her long brown-hair, God he missed her.

"_OK you are still watching after I yelled at you and Gibbs slapped you. Then I must really be gone. I just want you to know I made this video when I was six and a half months pregnant with our twin boys. Sweet little Kellen and Noah. I hope and pray that I at least got to see them grow-up. I will have instructions for that later on but first up. You are a smart, handsome, and athletic cop. I am sure that you will be fighting women off but you will also want to start dating again at some point. I can't stop you from falling in love again. You are only human and it's not like I can come back. Please just at least promise me that you will wait until you are sure that you are in love again and please make sure that you put the twins and any other children we may have first. Make sure you get a woman who will treat you and our babies right. You are a good man Tony DiNozzo and you deserve to be loved. Just know that I love you and I love the twins and again any other babies we have. Please Tony just know that I love you and I want you to be happy. I am sure that any girl you meet after me will be special and amazing. Just promise me that if you date again, if you remarry, if you have children with another woman. Please all you have to do for me is never forget me and make sure that Kellen and Noah and any other children we share never forget me and know that they are loved by me and I am always watching over all of you."_

* * *

Tony turned off the TV and then just sat on the living room floor, alone, in the dark. He had gotten Kate's blessing to move on and she had told him the same things that Gibbs and Vance had told him. He was happy to have her blessing but it still broke his heart. The fact that Kate thought that he would ever be able to forget her. Almost ten years later and he still dreamt about her. It was mostly nightmares about the last moments he saw her alive but he also regularly dreamt about the happier times and sometimes just of her face. He always felt her around him: whenever he had a close call in the field, when the twins reached milestones, and at least once on the average day.

"It took ten years but I finally met her Kate. Her name is Miss. Ziva David and she is the twins teacher. I fought for so long to never love again but something about her is amazing. She already loves the twins and I am so glad to have your blessing. Because just being around her is the happiest I have been since that day on the roof-top. As for my promise to you. I will never forget you and neither will Holly or Noah.

* * *

**A/N: Just a reminder that Tony and Kate originally thought the twins were both boys and Holly's gender was a huge shock. Anyway what did you think of Kate's tape? Will Tony finally have the confidence to ask Ziva out? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	10. Permission To Move Forward

Tony sat up most of the night watching the tape. It just felt so amazing to see Kate again. He had her picture all over the house. In fact her face was the first thing he saw in the morning and the last thing he saw at night but it had been so long since he heard her voice and saw her move. The last time was those final moments on the rooftop. Mr. Todd dad had given him a box of their old home movies about a year after Kate was killed but they stopped when she was seventeen and none of them had any sound. Seeing grown-up Kate and hearing her voice. More importantly witnessing her being Kate, was a major rush. He could imagine what the videos for the twins must be like but those were meant to be private between Kate and the twins. He couldn't watch them. Not unless Holly or Noah allowed him too. He wondered if Gibbs had helped with the twin's videos. He knew that his boss had been thrilled to find out that Kate was having twins. Gibbs and Kate had bonded early on, even before Kate joined NCIS. Hence Gibbs being in the video made when Kate was six months pregnant. When he finally did go to bed he ended up falling asleep on the couch.

"Dad" Holly called shaking him awake.

"On it Boss!" Tony cried jumping up.

"No it's me, Holly." Holly replied.

"Holly? What are you doing down here?" Tony asked.

"It's seven and Noah won't get out of bed." Holly explained.

"I'll deal with him and then get breakfast started." Tony replied.

"I will get breakfast ready. If you try to make breakfast and wake Noah all of us will be late." Holly explained.

"Thanks Holly but you really don't have to do that." Tony explained.

"No it's fine." Holly assured.

"What do you want?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"To know why you are sleeping on the couch and got out the old TV last night." Holly explained.

"I was watching a tape your mom made and it was on VHS." Tony explained.

"Mom?" Holly asked.

"Yeah she made tapes for all of us." Tony explained.

"Oh cool where's mine?" Holly asked.

"The tapes for you and Noah are by the front door but I am going to get them converted to DVD's first." Tony explained.

"Why didn't you get yours converted to DVD format first?" Holly asked.

"I needed to see it right away." Tony replied.

"Why?" Holly asked.

"I just did." Tony replied.

* * *

Holly waited until her dad went upstairs to attempt to get Noah out of bed with more then fifteen minutes to spare before the bus came. She grabbed some bacon out of the fridge, tossed a handful in the pan, and turned on the stove. She grabbed three glasses and three plates. She got orange juice out of the fridge. Tossed three pieces of toast in the toaster and grabbed three bananas out of the fruit bowl. When everything was done she put the bacon, toast, and fruit on the plates and poured juice into the glasses. Her dad still hadn't gotten Noah out of bed when she was finishing her breakfast but she heard her dad getting increasingly more frustrated. She looked at her dad's empty spot at the table. She was worried about him. He had been acting pretty weird lately and now he was watching videos of her mom and wanting to give Noah and her videos she had made for them. All this after he rarely spoke her name for ten years. What if something was wrong with him? What if he was sick? She didn't know what she would do if he died. Of course Gibbs would let Noah and her stay with him but she would still be an orphan. She didn't want to be orphaned at thirteen. Even worse what if it was something related to the plague and Noah was sick and dying too? She didn't want to be the only member of her family left. She couldn't help but let a single tear fall.

"Are you alright Holly?" Tony asked.

"Just worried" Holly admitted.

"About what?" Tony asked.

"Just things, high school and stuff." Holly lied.

"Don't worry you will do great." Tony assured.

* * *

After school let out, Ziva was alone in her classroom. Her mind went straight to Tony. She had checked with the Principal and it was OK to date a students parent just as long as she didn't let it be a conflict of interest. Holly and Noah had been among her favorite students since day one. Before she had met their dad or knew he was single and she would never let students get away with ill behavior or raise a students grade on anything less than merit. She had permission and Tony seemed to like her. Now all she had to do was make a move or wait for him to make a move.

* * *

Gibbs studied the empty spot on his basement shelf. It was weird to see it gone. It had sat there for ten years and the video for Tony had been around much longer. It's first home was on his entertainment center among his woodworking shows and westerns. Kate had always know that she was going to die before Tony. Hence the tape being made when she was pregnant. She had made the tapes for the twins and put the box together not long before she died. Less than a week in fact. Most people would think it was some kind of eerie premonition and he would give anything for that to be a fact and if Tony ever asked about the box. He would damn sure lie and tell him that it was just a coincidence. Even though he had never believed in that. It was among the many things he had promised to Kate when she got the news. That he would never tell Tony the truth. He knew it was wrong and sometimes he wondered if Jenny's similar fate was a sick karma for that lie. All he could do was thank God that neither Kate nor Jenny got too sick and maybe the bullets were a blessing in disguise. Both would have been miserable if they got too sick.

* * *

**A/N: What was wring with Kate and why didn't she want Tony to know? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	11. Gasp For Air

Tony woke to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. "Spring must really be coming." he thought to himself, as he climbed out of bed. He looked at the movie quote of the day calendar that sat on the dresser beside his bed. He realized that it had been over a week since he had bothered to change it. The last time he had changed it was on a Friday. Right before the team had caught a major and stressful case. That had kept them working twenty hours a day for the past nine days. The hardest part about the case. Was that it kept him away from his babies. Which never got any easier. In fact now that the twins were old enough to stay on their own if need be. He was even more concerned for them the nights he was unable to get home. The case not only kept him from attending church but also had kept him away from the past two of Miss. David's breakfasts. It was now the middle of March and until the recent case. He had attended everyone of her breakfasts. He always made a point to show up early. So that he could talk with her, one on one. He found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with her, with every meeting. He knew that Gibbs felt bad that the case had kept Tony away from his children and the meetings with Miss. David. He also knew that if Gibbs had been able to help it. They all would have been able to go home. At least the case had finally been wrapped the night before and the Major Case Response Team. Had been rewarded with a glorious two days off. He knew that McGee would be with Delilah, preparing for the new McBaby, Bishop would be cooking, and Gibbs would be down in his basement with his latest project and a bottle or two of bourbon. As for him, he didn't really know what he was going to do. The twins were pretty busy with the final months of eighth grade and spring sports. Holly had started running track to stay in shape for soccer and Noah played baseball. He wanted to just lie around in his pajamas all day but the last time he tried that. Noah had a major asthma attack at summer camp and had to be flown by helicopter back to Bethesda. Five years had passed since that day but Tony still refused to take any chances. So he tossed on a pair of jeans and t-shirt and then walked downstairs.

"Morning dad" Holly greeted.

"Morning Holly, Noah up yet?" Tony asked.

"Yes" Noah yawned as he came down the stairs.

"Dad I can get Noah and myself off to school in the morning. You should get some rest. You didn't get home until after midnight." Holly replied.

"It's OK, Holly I need to be up and around." Tony replied.

"What are you going to do today?" Noah asked.

"Rest and see if anything needs my attention around the house. Maybe meet up with Abby and Jimmy for lunch." Tony explained.

"Can't I stay home?" Noah pleaded.

"Sorry dude but as I recall you have a history test today." Tony reminded.

"I know" Noah sighed.

"You also have an English quiz." Holly added.

"Are you sure it's not your genius, AP class?" Noah asked hopefully.

"No I saw it on the regular side of the board." Holly explained.

"Great" Noah sighed.

"It won't be so bad. You have been working hard and doing great this year." Tony assured.

"I guess your right." Noah agreed.

* * *

Ziva walked into her seventh period class. She prayed that the students had remembered to study for the quiz she had announced on Friday. She loved all her students but God help anybody who announced a test, quiz, or assignment to their seventh period class on a Friday. Even the teachers who taught honors and AP classes had that issue. So she couldn't feel too bad for herself or cast any aspersions on her average level students. She sat down at her desk and waited for the bell to ring. Once the bell rang she took roll.

"OK class I hope that your remembered our quiz today." Ziva stated after finishing roll.

"Awww" The class groaned.

"The good news is just a review of stuff you should the short stories you have read this quarter in your literature book. We will have a quarterly test at the end of the week but after this quiz it should be a snap." Ziva explained.

"Darcy! Stop!" Noah DiNozzo yelled from the back of the classroom.

"In case you already forgot from history class. It is a free country you retard." Darcy taunted.

"Darcy and Noah! Stop fighting right now! Whatever this is stop!" Ziva warned before the smell of perfume wafted to the front of the room. Instantly Ziva remembered Tony telling her that Noah had severe asthma. "Darcy! You know that you are only allowed to apply perfumes, spray on deodorants, and make-up in the girls locker room after gym class." Ziva reminded.

"But I am going to cheer-leading practice at Sampson Middle! That's where my boyfriend goes! I need to smell good!" Darcy snapped.

"Bbbut I...I hhavee asssthmaa." Noah wheezed.

"Noah go to the nurse, now! Jamie please make sure he gets there OK!" Ziva ordered.

"Yes of course, Miss. David." Jamie replied rapidly filling out the destination in the back of his planner.

"Just go, if anybody asks. Have them call me." Ziva ordered.

* * *

Noah blinked his eyes open. The last thing he remembered was Darcy spraying perfume all over him in the back of Miss. David's class. Now he was lying on the bed in the nurses office. He had his asthma inhaler resting on his chest.

"Good Noah you are awake." Tony greeted.

"Dad?" Noah asked.

"You had an asthma attack in class. You are OK now but they wanted you to rest." Tony explained.

"Can we please go home?" Noah asked.

"Just as soon as Holly gets here." Tony replied.

"I passed her in the locker hallway. She should be here, soon." Ziva replied entering the nurses office through the hallway.

"Oh hi, Miss. David." Tony replied.

"How is, he?" Ziva asked.

"He seems OK but I may still keep him home tomorrow." Tony replied.

"I am so sorry the school has rules about stays for this very reason." Ziva apologized.

"Has the girl been punished?" Tony asked.

"The discipline office gave her three days In School Suspension." Ziva replied.

"OK" Tony replied fairly annoyed that the girl who had made his son sick. Was only getting a slap on the wrist.

"I know it doesn't mean anything but I am also separating her and Noah." Ziva replied.

"I know it's not you. It's the school but thanks for caring." Tony replied.

"What happened?!" Holly demanded bursting through the door.

"Some cheerleader gave me an asthma attack." Noah explained.

"What do you mean?" Holly asked suspiciously.

"She sprayed her perfume all over me." Noah replied.

"Who is she? Can I kick her ass?" Holly asked.

"Not on school grounds." Ziva replied.

"Holly please don't use your fists." Tony reminded.

"Oh I mean listen to your father." Ziva corrected.

"Whatever" Holly replied.

"Can we just get out of here?" Noah asked.

"Yes, just let Holly get your books." Tony replied.

"I can walk besides she doesn't know my combination." Noah argued.

"I am still going to help you." Holly replied.

"Fine" Noah sighed.

* * *

"Tony? Can I ask you something?" Ziva asked after the twins left.

"Sure, what's up?" Tony asked.

"I have two tickets to the Opera on Saturday night. My friend was supposed to go with me but her son is having his tonsils out that day." Ziva explained.

"Oh well I am sorry about your friend's son's tonsils but my friend from work Ducky loves the opera. I think he has season tickets but he may know somebody who would want a ticket." Tony offered.

"Well while I am sure this Ducky is a lovely person. He would have to be to be friends with you. I was thinking maybe we could go together." Ziva explained nervously.

"Well the last time I went to the opera they had these weird masks on the bathroom doors and I ended up wetting my pants. I should add that I was five but I think I am smarter now." Tony explained equally as nervous as Ziva.

"Well they have the regular signs on the bathroom doors." Ziva assured.

"Well I guess I can't say no." Tony replied.

* * *

**A/N: Did Ziva's friend really have to cancel or did she just use that as her excuse to ask Tony. As for Tony. Poor guy he is painfully rusty. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	12. What If

The faster Saturday approached the more nervous Tony got about his "date" with Miss. David. He kept replaying the conversation he had, had with her when she first asked him out, over and over in his head. He sounded like an idiot. What if she thought he was a freak or some kind of lunatic? Who the hell told a story about wetting their pants when they were a kid. Immediately after being asked on a date? At least he had stopped himself before bringing up how Senior had beat him and his mom had made him wear a diaper any time they went out after that. Until he was, well way too old for a kid who had, had one accident since completing potty training to have to wear diapers. His parents were a topic that he prayed to be able to avoid as long as possible. His family was a special kind of freak show that had run every girl he dated before Kate off and had nearly chased Kate off. He was sure that Ziva would bolt while he was still in the middle of his story. As it turned out his mom had, had a brain-tumor his whole life but was only diagnosed about a month before she died and his dad, well let's just say DiNozzo Senior was somebody he would rather forget. Now it was Friday night and both kids were on overnight trips. So Tony decided to take the opportunity to catch up with Jimmy and Breena. He barely saw Jimmy outside of work anymore and he almost never saw Breena. Between the crazy and unpredictable hours that came with working for NCIS and the busy twins busy schedules. He didn't have much time for friends. Except for Gibbs who regularly ordered him to his basement and Tim and Delilah. Since the twins were in many of the same activities as Chris and Julia. It was nice to finally be able to catch up with the Palmer's they were great friends and Breena was an amazing cook. Jimmy had really gotten lucky with her. Almost as lucky as he had been with Kate and wondered if he would get again with Ziva. If she still liked him or ever had liked him that is.

"How are the twins, doing?" Breena asked wistfully as she walked into the living-room carrying a plate of cookies.

"Oh they are great. Noah had a bad asthma attack this week but he is OK now." Tony explained.

"That is great. What are they up to, tonight?" Breena asked.

"Noah has a boy-scout trip and Holly is on an over-night with student council." Tony explained.

"That sounds like fun." Breena replied.

"Enough about the twins. How are you?" Tony asked.

"Good" Breena replied.

"Glad to hear that." Tony replied.

"So Tony have you talked to Miss. David lately?" Jimmy asked.

"Miss. David?" Breena questioned.

"The twins English teacher. She helped Holly out at the start of the semester and I go to these parent-teacher breakfasts she has on weekends." Tony explained.

"Tony is also in love with her." Jimmy added.

"I am not!" Tony snapped.

"You think about her all the time, talk about her every change you get, and according to Gibbs even dream about her." Jimmy explained.

"Oh! Tony that's great!" Breena cried.

"So are there any developments?" Jimmy asked.

"She asked me to go to the opera tomorrow. I mean she had originally invited a friend but she had to back out. So she asked me." Tony explained.

"Are you going?" Breena asked.

"Of course" Tony replied.

"I thought you hated opera music." Jimmy commented.

"I do but Ziva asked me and I couldn't turn her down." Tony replied.

"I rest my case." Jimmy said slyly.

"She asked me to go as a friend. Besides I am waiting for her to back out on me." Tony argued.

"Why would she back out?" Jimmy asked.

"When she asked me I told the story about the time I peed myself at the opera when I was five. No woman would stick with that." Tony groaned.

"Wow Tony you are rusty." Jimmy commented.

"Well I haven't flirted with a woman since Jeanne!" Tony snapped.

"No, Tony it's OK." Jimmy assured.

"Tony if this Ziva really does love you back. She won't care about your embarrassing story. You can trust me on that one." Breena assured.

"How would you know?" Tony asked.

"Because Jimmy passed out on our first date and we have been together ever since." Breena explained.

"Oh come on Breena!" Jimmy whined.

"Hey I am trying to help Tony and besides it clearly didn't affect me. Truth be told you passing out in the middle of the restaurant was less embarrassing than a guy assuming I am not as smart as I claim to be. Because I am blonde and pretty." Breena explained.

"Kind of hard to judge someone on intelligence when you just passed out in the free salsa." Jimmy replied.

"I am just glad you are allergic to nuts and we couldn't go to the Hibachi." Breena laughed.

"Not as glad as I am." Jimmy replied.

"Anyway what should I do?" Tony asked.

"Go with Ziva tomorrow and then ask her out next week." Jimmy instructed.

"What if I mess up? What if they have weird signs on the bathroom and it happens again? What if I fall asleep or clap too soon?" Tony asked.

"Well it is hard to fall asleep at the opera and you are usually instructed on when it is OK to clap. As for the bathroom. Don't worry it is Ladies and Gentleman." Jimmy assured.

"OK what if the opera has a rat in it and I freak out and we have to leave and she gets killed by a mugger?" Tony asked.

"That is the plot of Batman Begins but with a rat instead of a bat and your girlfriend instead of your parents." Jimmy commented.

"Well what if that happens?!" Tony snapped jumping up from the couch, spilling the plate of cookies in the process.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Tony worrying over nothing. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	13. First Date

Tony awoke Sunday morning with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He slammed his head back into the pillow. Thinking that he had come down with the stomach flu. He put his hand on his forehead no fever but that didn't really mean much. He pulled himself out of bed and stumbled downstairs and grabbed a bottle of powerade and package of plain crackers out of the pantry. He put a small handful of crackers on a paper-plate. He picked up a cracker and slowly nibbled on it then set it back on the plate.

"Morning dad" Holly greeted.

"Morning Holl don't get too close. I think I have the stomach flu." Tony explained.

"You don't feel warm." Holly commented.

"You don't always get a fever with the stomach flu." Tony replied.

"I know but you also have good color." Holly observed.

"Well my stomach is killing me." Tony replied.

"Maybe it's nerves." Holly suggested.

"What could I be nervous about?" Tony questioned nervously.

"Dylan and your appointment with Dr. Pitt is coming up." Holly suggested.

"No I feel great." Tony assured.

"Well maybe it's just work." Holly replied.

"Yeah that's probably it. Uh since I haven't been sick or had a fever. I think I am going to go to the diner. I will eat light though." Tony replied.

"That will be good for you." Holly replied.

* * *

Tony turned into the diner parking lot. Maybe Holly was right because his stomach did feel a lot better than it had when he left the house. He saw Ziva's red mini cooper parked in her usual spot. His stomach had made him arrive late. So he would miss his private talk with Miss. David but he could at least make the breakfast.

"Good morning Mr. DiNozzo. I was beginning to think that you were not going to make it this morning." Ziva greeted.

"No just running late." Tony replied.

* * *

Breakfast with Miss. David and the parents of the twins classmates, was just what Tony needed to calm his nerves. He felt fine all day. Right up until it was time to get ready to leave for his date with Ziva. Not only was he nervous about the date and whether or not Ziva would actually show up. She hadn't said a word about the date at breakfast. It may just have been that she didn't want to bring up the date in front of the other parents and she had to rush out as soon as the meal was over to pick-up her daughter. For all he knew she was avoiding the topic because she wanted to back out. The other thing weighing on his nerves. Getting out of the house all dressed up without the twins noticing. He hated lying to his kids but he didn't want to bring up his relationship with Ziva to the twins, until he was sure if it was anything at all. He was just about to get dressed when there was a knock on the front door. Before he could get downstairs, Holly had already answered. Moments later the teenager came bounding upstairs and knocked on his door.

"What is it, Holl?" Tony asked.

"Hey dad, the McGee's are going to the movies and then out for ice-cream and they invited Noah and I. Can we go?" Holly asked.

"Did you do your homework?" Tony asked.

"Yes" Holly replied.

"What about Noah?" Tony asked.

"Yes" Noah replied coming into the room.

"Then I don't see why not." Tony replied.

* * *

Tony owed McGee a big one for distracting the twins. Saving him from having to lie to his kids or get their hopes up that they would be getting a new mom. He went downstairs and then went down long enough to thank McGee for taking the twins and offering to pay him for the movie and ice-cream. Once everybody was gone. He went back upstairs, showered, and changed. He dressed in his best Armani Suit. The suit he had bought with the inheritance money that Victoria Mallard had left him. He wore it only for special occasions and certain undercover cases. He studied himself in the mirror. He suddenly looked so old. Ziva was so young and vibrant. She would never be able to fall in love with him. He had to force himself to get up and go. He drove to the DC Opera House and waited outside the will call window. He waited and waited. People filed into the theater. He looked at his watch, the opera was supposed to start at eight in the evening. It was eight fifteen. They had already closed the doors and the window for the show they were supposed to see, was dark. His fears were confirmed he had been stood up. God he was such a loser. He kicked the wooden frame of the will call window, turned and started back towards his car. Maybe he could change into his sweats and meet the McGee's and the kids at the ice-cream parlor.

"TONY! WAIT!" Ziva cried running towards him.

"Ziva? I was sure I had been stood up." Tony replied turning around.

"I am so sorry, Tony. Eliana had a rough day and I had trouble getting out of the house." Ziva explained.

"Oh does she have health problems like Noah?" Tony asked.

"No uh she had a traumatic experience when she was about a year old. She is coping well but she still has bad days." Ziva explained.

"Oh that's too bad." Tony replied.

"It's OK she is OK. Anyway they should just let us in." Ziva replied.

* * *

Tony followed Ziva into the opera house. Ducky was right, it was absolutely amazing. He had never been a fan of opera music and whenever Ducky went. He would invite Jimmy or McGee since they appreciated the music. Tony much preferred swing and classical. If tonight went well, he would have to invite Ziva to his favorite swing club. Ziva and him took their seats. The show actually wasn't bad. At intermission they stood together and ate finger sandwiches and pastries. The second half of the show was better than the first. After the show Tony escorted Ziva to her car. He went to kiss her on the cheek but she turned and allowed him to kiss her on the lips. It was magical, his heart raced and fluttered a way that it hadn't since the morning that Kate was killed. He remembered his last kiss with her. It was amazing almost like she knew. The kiss with Ziva was just as amazing but not in a "Five hours from now I am going to get shot right between the eyes. Like Bambi's mom way." more of a "You love me, I love you, and it is OK for you to let go and move on. I will never hurt you. At least not intentionally." way. Tony practically floated back to his car. He was in such a trance that he narrowly avoided plowing into a classic Morgan. Not just any classic Morgan. _His _classic Morgan. Ducky parked his car, got out and knocked on Tony's window. Tony rolled the window down.

"Good evening Anthony. I am surprised to see you here." Ducky commented.

"Yeah uh I was uh meeting a friend." Tony lied.

"Anthony, Anthony, Anthony" Ducky chuckled.

"What is it, Ducky?" Tony asked.

"I may be old and out of touch but I do know a thing or two." Ducky explained.

"What does that mean?" Tony questioned.

"Well I saw you walk in with that lovely lady and you were in such a trance that you just about killed me. It is clear to me Anthony, that you are in love." Ducky explained.

* * *

**A/N: I would say the date was a success. Even if it started out shakily. Lucky for Tony he didn't kill Ducky. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	14. Tony's In Trouble

Tony was proud to call the date with Ziva a success. He was still glowing from the experience Monday morning, when he got to work. He knew that just because they had one date that went well. Did not mean that they were going to get married. That being said it would be great if they did get married. Ziva was still young maybe they could have children together. Then again she had adopted her daughter and she didn't want to talk about it. Maybe she couldn't have children. Of course they could always adopt. God he was getting ahead of himself.

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs yelled slapping him hard on the back of the head.

"Wha? On it boss!" Tony replied nervously.

"There is a dead Petty Officer at Rock Creek Park, Grab your gear." Gibbs replied.

"Right sorry I am uh distracted today." Tony replied.

"Ya think?" Gibbs questioned.

"Yes sir and I am sorry." Tony replied.

"Rule six, DiNozzo! Now let's get going!" Gibbs barked.

* * *

Tony was waiting the rest of the day for the wrath of Gibbs. McGee had mentioned in the car that Gibbs had called him for almost five minutes before he finally responded. If Leroy Jethro Gibbs called you more than twice, you were a dead man. The whole time they were at the scene Gibbs shot him death glares. He also stuck Tony on collecting evidence. Which on a normal case was bad enough when the body was discovered in the middle of the dog run and there was crap everywhere. It was a literal nightmare. After the crime scene Tony was stuck getting and paying for lunch.

"What did golden boy do to get this kind of treatment?" Bishop asked she had been down in Abby's lab when they were called to the scene.

"I was daydreaming this morning and it took five minutes for Gibbs to snap me back." Tony explained.

"Well that explains why I beat you guys to the car. Everything OK?" Bishop asked.

"I had a date Saturday night." Tony replied.

"Really? Tony I am never going to love again DiNozzo had a date?" Bishop asked.

"Yes, Miss. David" Tony replied.

"The twins teacher?" Bishop asked.

"Yes" Tony replied.

"You want me to get dirt on her? I still have connections at the NSA?" Bishop asked.

"Seeing as me dating is not a threat to national security. I think that it would be an enormous waste of time." Tony explained.

"Whatever you say but if she's a black widow. I am not singing Danny Boy at your funeral. I only do that for people who let me help." Bishop explained.

"She's not a black widow and I am Italian/English! So your best bet not to piss off any of my relatives would be Amazing Grace." Tony replied.

"Lovely funeral song, DiNozzo but I hardly think that needless yabba-yabba is a good enough reason for Holly and Noah to be orphaned." Gibbs replied entering the bullpen.

"I'm going!" Tony groaned.

* * *

Ziva could not stop thinking about her date with Tony. Admittedly he wasn't the first person she had asked. She truly had asked her friend Stacy to go with her but Stacy had insisted that she invite "That guy that you like. The cop." Of course Ziva had been hesitant. Her last serious relationship was Ray who was also a Fed but Ray was with the CIA. He was also an abusive and psychotic bastard. She was relieved that Tony seemed to be just the opposite of Ray. He was strong like Ray but unlike Ray, he wasn't married to his job. He had been so calm and understanding. If she had been late to meet Ray even on the first date, he would have slapped her across the face. She would never forgive him for what he did to Eliana. When she was stupid enough to give him a second chance in the fog of grief she felt after her dad died.

"Miss. David?" Julia called.

"What is it, Julia?" Ziva asked.

"You seem out of it. Are you OK?" Julia asked.

"Oh I am fine just tired." Ziva replied.

"Only two more periods to go." Julia offered.

"Yes but I am going to have to stay after and grade papers." Ziva replied.

_*Riiiiiinnnnnnngggggggggggggg!*_

"Well that's the bell better take my seat." Julia replied.

* * *

Despite his troubles at work, Tony was still in a great mood. His date must have been a success then because normally disappointing Gibbs kept him down for days. He hated letting Gibbs down because Gibbs more of a dad to him than Senior ever had been and he just wanted to be the best. That's why even though he would never admit to it. It always ripped his heart when McGee and Bishop called him "golden boy". It wasn't meant to be an insult but God it got to him bad. He hoped that Ziva wouldn't think that was weird that he thought of his boss as a dad. Most people thought he was insane for admitting that. He was forty-three years old. A little too old to be looking for a positive father figure for himself. He should be more concerned with being a good role model for Holly and Noah. Which Lord knows he was but still he took comfort in having Gibbs as his "dad". He had admitted those feelings to Gibbs while he was in the hospital fighting a concussion. He didn't know if it was because he had just almost been killed or because Gibbs actually did care about him but either way the older man had hugged him and told him that he saw him as a son.

* * *

Tony got off of work and drove to the grocery store that was just about equal distance between Head Quarters and his house. He grabbed supplies to make stir-fry for dinner and a bottle of wine for himself after the twins had gone to bed. He paid for his groceries and walked out of the store. He balanced his bags on his arms and walked outside. The kid bagging in his line had managed to cram three and a half bags worth of groceries into two bags. The kid had realized his mistake and offered to re-bag some of the groceries but Tony had refused. Assuring the kid that he could handle it. Now that he was out of the store. He regretted that decision. Almost as much as he had regretted parking on the far side of the parking lot. He was about halfway to his car when the bags were knocked out of his hands. He bent down to pick everything up, thinking that he had just bitten off more than he could chew. He was reaching for a can when, he was shoved to the ground. He looked up and saw a Hispanic man, about six one, with brown hair and brown eyes.

"Hey man what's your problem?" Tony asked.

"Are you Tony DiNozzo?" The man asked.

"Yes" Tony replied.

"Are you dating a Ziva David?" The man asked.

"Yes" Tony replied pulling himself up.

"Big mistake! I am Ray Cruz and we are engaged!" Ray replied shoving Tony hard in the chest. Tony stumbled back and fell hard on to the parking lot. Hitting his head on the black concrete. Ray ran off and Tony slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Tony why can't he stay out of trouble? Will he be OK? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	15. Late

Holly scowled at her computer. Normally she loved school but even she didn't enjoy having to retype a five page history report, the day before it was due. Because she had lost her flash-drive over the weekend. She cursed herself for not backing it up to her Google Drive account. She had to get a good grade on this project. Aside from the fact that it was thirty percent of her total grade. How pathetic would it be for the girl who's dad and brother had barely survived the plague, to fail a report on diseases of the Middle Ages? Even though she only recalled sleeping in the spare bedroom at Gibbs's house and Abby hugging her about a hundred times a day. Her teacher had literally signed her up to do the report on the bubonic and pneumonic plague. Even though she had told Mr. Cohen fifty times that she didn't remember it. Still she had poured herself into research, read articles, and checked them against other articles. Still Mr. Cohen had promised an extra twenty points of she interviewed her dad and Noah on their experiences. Noah had no memory of having the plague. Except feeling terrible and the blue lights. Hence why the blue lights were always unscrewed on the DiNozzo's, Christmas lights. Her dad had more memory of the ordeal but he always got so stressed when recalling it. That she could only get a tiny bit of information on him. Thankfully Gibbs remembered the entire ordeal in exact detail and could actually talk about it. She had jotted down information from both her web based research and the interviews but it wasn't near enough to fill five pages. She heard a knocking on her door frame and looked up to see Noah leaning in the doorway.

"What do you want?" Holly asked.

"Can you make us something to eat, Holly?" Noah asked innocently.

"No I have to retype this entire paper. Can't you wait for dad to get home?" Holly asked.

"He should have been home by now, it's almost seven thirty." Noah replied.

"You really need to work on telling time because it's only... seven fifteen!" Holly replied gasping when she saw how late it had gotten.

"Yeah it's weird he's never this late." Noah commented.

"It's OK he probably just had a case." Holly assured.

"He always calls when he is going to be working late." Noah replied.

"Maybe he's still in the field?" Holly suggested.

"No he would get Abby or Jimmy to call." Noah reminded.

"I bet something just came up at work. I am going to call Gibbs and see what's up." Holly replied.

* * *

Even though she was just as scared as Noah seemed to be. Holly tried her best to hide her fear. She had to be the rational one. She was sure that her dad was just fine. He had probably just gotten stuck in the field somewhere out of range or Gibbs was in a bad mood and making everybody stay late. She took out her cellphone and dialed her dad's number. It rang a few times but then went to voice-mail. She called him two more times and the same thing happened both times. She tried his desk phone and same thing. She tried Gibbs's cell first. If he didn't answer she would try his desk phone and if that didn't work she would call Director Vance. Gibbs's phone rang several times and just when she was about to give up a gruff voice answered.

"Hello?"

"It's me, Holly."

"Holly I was just heading to your place."

"Why?"

"I found your flash thing at my place over the weekend."

"My flash-drive?"

"Yeah that's it. Anyway I am bringing it over to you. I should be there in about five minutes."

"So you guys aren't working a case?"

"No, why?"

"Because my dad still hasn't come home."

"That's odd because I sent him home at five. He did say something about going to the grocery store, maybe he got held up. Have you tried calling him?"

"Yes but it went to straight to voice-mail."

"OK well I am almost to your house. I will check things out then. Try to stay calm, OK sweetie?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

* * *

Gibbs hung up with Holly and dropped his phone on the seat beside him. His gut had been churning all day. The case was cut and dry. The Marine had his gun holstered on his waste, his dog jumped on him, and pulled the trigger, and he bled out before anybody found him. He was looking forward to a relaxing evening in his basement but his gut was still bothering him. Now Holly had called and told him that Tony had not come home and was not answering his phone. That was not like Tony at all. He was always reachable especially for his children. He pulled into Tony's driveway. Grabbed his phone and Holly's flash-drive, and up the driveway. Holly and Noah were waiting for him on the porch. He had just placed Holly's flash-drive into her hands when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Yes I am his emergency contact."

"What happened?"

"I will be there right away."

"Thank you, goodbye"

* * *

"Shit!" Gibbs cursed under his breath as he flipped his phone closed. Why couldn't Tony stay out of trouble? Why did he always have to be the one who got hurt or infected with some weird disease? He had kids to take care of. It's not like he went out looking for trouble either. It just always seemed to find him. He shoved his phone in his pocket and looked down at the twins who were sitting on the porch staring at him.

"What's going on, Gibbs?" Holly asked.

"That was Bethesda, your dad was in an accident in the grocery store parking lot." Gibbs explained.

"Is he OK?" Holly asked.

"He's in a unconscious. They think he has swelling in his brain but they won't know until the scans come back." Gibbs replied voice cracking.

* * *

**A/N: Will Tony be OK? How will the others react when they find out he was attacked by Ziva's "fiancee"? New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	16. The Longest Wait

Holly rested her head on the passenger door, window in Gibbs's car. Her surrogate grandfather's words replaying over and over in her head. "Unconscious, possible swelling in the brain, won't know until the scans are back." Swelling in the brain was really serious. When she was in the fifth grade the boy who sat two rows ahead of her, fell off the monkey bars over Christmas break. He had swelling in his brain. He was in a coma for months and missed the rest of that year. She saw around from time to time. He went to the special needs school and was mentally only three or four. What if the same thing happened to her dad? What if he was reduced to a forty three year old toddler? It was bad enough having to help her seven year old cousin change out of her wet Good-Nites. She could not imagine having to changer her dad's diapers. Who was she kidding social services would never let a teenager take care of a severely disabled adult and mildly disabled teenager. That only meant one thing. Moving to Indiana to live with her grandparents. They were nice enough and cared for her and Noah but they always cried when they saw her and her grandfather hated her dad. She dreaded even the idea of five years in the middle of that soap opera style drama.

"You OK, Holl?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't want to go to Indiana." Holly muttered.

"Okaay" Gibbs replied confused.

"If my dad is a brain-damaged, giant toddler who watches Sesame Street! I don't want to move to Indiana!" Holly cried.

"I'm still not following." Gibbs replied.

"This kid I knew in elementary school Travis hit his head really hard and he had swelling in his brain. When he woke up he was a giant toddler. If that happens to my dad. Noah and I are going to have to move to Indiana." Holly explained.

"I am sorry about your friend but your dad is strong. He will come through this just fine and if he doesn't than you and Noah can stay with me until you are grown." Gibbs explained.

"Where will my dad go if he can't take care of himself?" Holly asked.

"Most likely a home for people like him but Holly you are too young to worry about all of this. You are just a kid." Gibbs explained.

"But I have to be the woman of the house." Holly explained.

"Your old man really needs to get better so that he can give you a mom and you can enjoy your teenage years." Gibbs replied.

"I don't care about any of that I just want him to get better." Holly replied.

"Me too Holl. I love that crazy Italian like a son." Gibbs replied.

* * *

Noah tapped his fingers on the plastic arm of the chair. He didn't understand why this was such a big deal. His dad hit his head all the time and he had gotten a lot of concussions before. Why was everybody so upset? He would be fine. He always was. Noah didn't think that his dad getting hit on the head, was enough of a reason to be stuck in a hospital waiting room.

"I'm bored." Noah sighed.

"Shut-up!" Holly warned.

"What's the big deal? Dad gets hurt all the time." Noah commented.

"Didn't you hear Gibbs? He may have swelling in his brain." Holly explained.

"Yeah so?" Noah asked.

"It means that he may not be OK this time! God,! Why are you so stupid?!" Holly cried.

"I didn't know." Noah replied nervously.

"Holly, how about you go get a snack and take a little walk?" Gibbs suggested handing Holly a five dollar bill.

"Yeah OK" Holly sighed.

* * *

Noah got out of his chair and moved closer to Gibbs. He wasn't scared before but he really was now. It must be really bad if even Holly was scared. She was always the brave one of the twins. The brave and protective sister. If she was scared than their dad must be really hurt bad. If he died then they would be orphans. Where would they go? He knew a few kids who had been adopted and a couple others in foster-care. Was that the fate that him and Holly would have if they were left orphaned? Holly was so pretty and smart. Even though they were older she would get adopted right away but Noah, he was stupid and had so many health problems. Nobody wanted a kid like him.

"You OK?" Gibbs asked.

"Scared" Noah admitted.

"Don't be, everything will be OK. I promise." Gibbs assured.

"How can you be so sure?" Noah asked.

"I can't but your mom always said that you make your own fate and if you were afraid all the time. Bad things would happen." Gibbs explained.

"She must have been really smart." Noah commented.

"She was" Gibbs replied.

"Just like Holly." Noah sighed.

"And you too." Gibbs added.

"I'm not smart." Noah sighed.

"Of course you are. Just in your own way." Gibbs replied.

* * *

Gibbs managed to get Noah calmed down and then Holly came back into the room. She looked a little more relaxed. She slid back into her chair and whispered an apology to Noah. Who nodded and promised that he understood. Now that the twins were calmed down it was his turn to panic. Holly's concerns about brain-damage and Noah's about death were weighing heavily on his mind. He had told the twins that everything would be OK but he wasn't so sure.

"Agent Gibbs, may I speak with you?" Dr. Fowler called.

"Just a second." Gibbs replied.

* * *

Holly and Noah watched as Gibbs left the room with the doctor. This was the moment of truth. In a matter of minutes they would know just how much damage had been done to their dad and hopefully at least have an idea of if he would be OK or not. Five minutes later Gibbs returned with a nervous look on his face. He sat down in the seat between the twins and put his arms around their shoulders.

"How is he?" Holly asked.

"He does have swelling in his brain but it is not as bad as the doctors had predicted. They are cautiously optimistic that it will go completely down on it's own in the next twenty-four hours but if it doesn't they may have to do surgery to relieve the pressure." Gibbs explained.

"Is he awake? Can we see him? Noah asked.

"Here's the bad news. He is in a coma and they can't tell me exactly when he will wake up. The next twenty-four hours will also be very critical." Gibbs explained.

"What's going to happen to us, until he gets better?" Holly asked.

"I am going to stay here until your dad is awake just in case but Jimmy and Breena have agreed to let the two of you stay with them." Gibbs explained.

* * *

**A/N: Good and bad news about Tony.** **The next few chapters will be from the POV of the twins, Gibbs and Ziva. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**

**AN: Please vote in the poll on my profile.**


	17. Alone

Holly tossed her overnight bag on the twin bed, in Jimmy's spare room. She was glad that the Palmer's had volunteered to keep her and Noah until their dad got better or at least until he was well enough for Gibbs to leave his side. Surprisingly Jimmy was the best person to be with in a time like this. Abby went into full on Abby mode and tried way too hard to make everything OK, McGee got so hysterical that most times Holly ended up comforting him, and Ducky tried way too hard to explain what exactly was wrong with whoever was injured. Jimmy and Breena were like protective older siblings. Making sure the twins were comfortable and felt secure.

"You OK, Holly?" Breena asked as she entered the room carrying neatly folded sheets.

"Yeah, feeling better than I did at the hospital." Holly replied.

"Are you sure you don't mind sleeping in here?" Breena asked.

"No it's fine." Holly assured.

"Just try to get some sleep. I will get you up for school at six forty-five, just let me know what you want for breakfast. Oh and Jimmy called and said that he was on the way home." Breena explained,

"Any news?" Holly asked.

"No but no news is good news and as long as he remains stable he won't be needing anymore tests until morning." Breena explained.

"Yeah I know I am just worried." Holly replied.

"I know but your dad is strong and I know that he won't leave this planet until he sees how amazing you and Noah have become." Breena explained.

* * *

Noah found himself unable to sleep that night. He was scared to death, he knew that his dad must be in really bad shape if even Holly was scared. He felt like a failure for not being able to calm his sister's fears or help her. He was the older twin and he was the brother. He was supposed to be the brave one and the defender. Instead it was always Holly who kept the family in order and kept him calm when he was afraid. Just like Breena had said, Jimmy knocked on his door at six forty-five in the morning. If he were at home he would have been able to sleep until seven but the Palmer's were zoned for the other middle school so Breena would have to drive them to school on her way to work.

"Come on, Noah get up." Jimmy called.

"I'm up" Noah groaned.

"You OK?" Jimmy asked.

"I couldn't sleep last night." Noah admitted

"Neither could I. In fact Breena and I were talking about it and we decided that Breena would stay home just in case you guys wanted to stay home. With everything that's going on I am sure your teachers will understand." Jimmy explained.

"I think I am going to stay home." Noah replied.

"OK I will tell Breena. Holly already told us that she is going to go. You know how she is." Jimmy replied.

"Always trying to stay on top." Noah finished.

* * *

Holly took the binders for her first three classes out of her backpack and then tossed her backpack into her locker. Julia came up behind her. She opened her locker which happened to be just two down from Holly's and did the same routine with her books.

"Oh Holly! I am so sorry! My dad told me what happened." Julia cried embracing her friend.

"Thanks" Holly replied, returning the hug.

"Is he going to be OK?" Julia asked.

"They will know more by this afternoon. We are staying with the Palmer's for now and Noah stayed home today with Breena. They are going to pick me up and we are all going to the hospital after school." Holly explained.

"You want Delilah to bring me and Chris down there?" Julia asked.

"No, Noah and I can't even see him yet. We are probably just going to get an update and maybe give Gibbs a respite and then go home." Holly explained.

"OK well text me if you need anything." Julia replied.

"Yeah thanks, I will." Holly replied.

* * *

Gibbs threw his lunch in the trash and headed back up to the Intensive Care Unit, waiting room. He was starving but he hadn't been able to eat since the night before. He had only left the waiting area twice since Tony was brought in.

"Boss!" McGee called entering the room.

"No news yet, McGee. They are taking him for a scan in an hour though." Gibbs explained.

"I didn't figure there was any news but I do have an update." McGee replied.

"What's up?" Gibbs asked.

"We have a name for Tony's attacker. Witnesses say that they saw a tall, Latino man. At first they thought he just accidentally bumped into Tony but then he started yelling and shoved him. So anyway we went to the store and asked if anybody fitting that description. Who would have been there around the same time as Tony. An employees said that the man had followed Tony around the store. Abby went on a hunch and checked our security cameras. Sure enough the man was seen speeding after Tony after he left. I checked the license plate number and the car is registered to a Ray Cruz. He fits the description of Tony's attacker to a T. We brought him in and he confessed to everything." McGee explained.

"Good job McGee take the rest of the day, tell Abbs good job too and bring her an extra Caf-Pow." Gibbs replied.

"Already did it." McGee replied.

"You have become a great agent, now do we have a motive?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes Ray is engaged to Ziva David." McGee replied.

"Son of a bitch!" Gibbs cried.

"I know it's sad." McGee replied.

"Stay here in case there is an update on Tony! I am going to deal with that bitch!" Gibbs cried.

* * *

The can opener whirred as Ziva opened the can of Chicken Noodle Soup. Eliana had woken up with a high fever and sore throat. The pediatrician had diagnosed it as a mild case of strep throat. At least it wasn't anything too serious but she would still have to take precautions before going in to work and being around her students. She heard a knock on the door and sighed setting down the can opener and leaving the soup half opened on the counter. She opened her front door and saw a tall man with gray hair and tired looking blue eyes standing on her front step.

"May I help you?" Ziva asked.

"Are you Ziva David?" The man asked.

"Yes I am, why?" Ziva replied.

"Jethro Gibbs, NCIS!" Gibbs cried.

"What? NCIS? That's Navy cops? Why is a Navy cop here? Oh no did something happen to Tony?!" Ziva cried.

"Your damn right something happened to Tony and you better give me a damn good reason not to arrest you as an accessory!" Gibbs railed.

"I don't understand." Ziva commented.

"Your fiancee attacked Tony in the grocery store parking lot yesterday. He is at Bethesda in a coma, with swelling in his brain." Gibbs explained.

"What, no! I...I have to get out of here. Just take my daughter. Put her in foster care. I can't make her be on the run. It wouldn't be right. She shouldn't have to pay for my sins." Ziva rambled.

"She won't have to pay if you turn yourself in. If you just face it and get a good lawyer you may get a light sentence." Gibbs explained.

"No you don't understand. I _was _engaged to Ray. Past tense, was! We broke up three years ago! He left my daughter with a murderer and threatened to murder me and throw me into a mine with Eliana still alive. God, that's why I moved out here. I needed to get away. The cops in my old town looked out for me but I was praying a fresh start would be good. I was hoping he had given up. It's been over a year since I last heard from him. God now Tony is hurt and probably going to hate me. I felt so safe with him. Safer than I have since the day Ray went crazy on me." Ziva rambled, she was on the floor crying by the end.

"It's OK, Ziver he is in custody and I am going to get you protection detail. I am sorry I was so rough on you. I barely slept last night and I already lost one child to a psychopath." Gibbs explained.

"It's OK I understand. Truth be told I would have had the same reaction." Ziva assured.

* * *

Gibbs left Ziva's house feeling like the scum of the Earth, right now he was almost as bad as Ray. He should have never gone to her house. Not only was there no reason for him to go after her but also he had way overreacted. He was fully prepared for Ziva to press charges against him and for him to lose his job. That's what he deserved. He got back to the hospital just as Tony's doctor was coming into the waiting area. The twins were seated on either side of Breena on the couch and Jimmy and McGee were sharing a smaller couch. Ducky and Abby were in the two chairs behind Jimmy and the twins.

"Agent Gibbs I was just about to call you." Dr. Fowler said turning to face Gibbs.

"How is, he?" Gibbs asked.

"I am sorry but the swelling has not gone down as much as we would have liked. We are going to have to operate." Dr. Fowler replied.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Tony but he will be OK soon enough. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	18. Stay

In an instant Gibbs was filled with dread. He should have known that because it was Tony, this injury would end up being anything but easy. He should have known that Tony would endure complications but he had prayed that he would be spared. Gibbs had endured the same operation after being blown up on that ship. Of course he was in a lot worse conditions and he had survived. He would use that to hold on hope for Tony.

"Mr. Gibbs!" Dr. Fowler called.

"What?" Gibbs asked.

"Do you give your permission to preform the operation?" Dr. Fowler asked.

"Of course! Do what you can to save my boy! Go!" Gibbs demanded.

* * *

Holly shifted nervously in her seat. Her dad was being rushed off to have brain surgery. God, why did stuff like this happen to her family? Why couldn't anything just be simple for them? Why could her dad not even do something as simple as going to the grocery store without getting into trouble? Who had done this to him and why hadn't Gibbs found him and kicked his or her ass?

"Gibbs?" Holly asked.

"What is it, Holly?" Gibbs questioned.

"Is he going to be OK?" Holly asked.

"He is going to be fine." Gibbs assured.

"How do you know?" Holly asked.

"He knows better than to die on me." Gibbs hissed.

* * *

Noah was struggling to make sense of what was happening. The day before they had told him that his dad was going to be just fine. Now all of the sudden he had to have brain-surgery. God he wished that Holly would come over and make this make sense for him but even she seemed to be concerned and afraid.

"I don't get it." Noah said aloud.

"Don't get what?" Jimmy asked.

"Yesterday they said that he was going to be OK." Noah replied.

"He is going to be fine. They have to do this a lot to patients with similar injuries to your dad." Jimmy assured.

"Are they usually OK?" Noah asked.

"People in far worse shape than him have come through just fine." Jimmy replied.

"Like who?" Noah asked.

"Well Gibbs, he had the same surgery after he got blown up and he came through just fine. In fact it saved his life." Jimmy replied.

"And he's totally OK now?" Noah asked.

"Well as OK as Gibbs can be." Jimmy whispered.

"Watch it" Noah reminded.

* * *

_The last thing Tony remembered was a horrible pain in his head. He heard somebody screaming to call 911 but they sounded so far away, he couldn't tell it if was a male or a female. Not that any of that really mattered. All that mattered was that somebody was calling for help. He heard the rhythmic beating of a heart monitor and the hiss of a ventilator. People were yelling medical terms over him but they sounded as far away as the person crying for somebody to help him. When he opened his eyes he was not in an operating room but in a white room. Everything was hazy and he was completely alone. Was he dead? What had he done to deserve for his life to end this way this soon? He was too young. What would happen to the twins? Suddenly the whiteness in front of him separated slightly and Kate appeared in a solid white robe._

"_Kate?" Tony asked._

"_IDIOT!" Kate cried._

"_Idiot? I was attacked." Tony argued._

"_I know that but I just wanted to take this opportunity to remind you." Kate replied._

"_Why are you here anyway? Am I dead?" Tony asked._

"_Not dead just having brain-surgery." Kate assured._

_"So I am going to be OK?" Tony asked._

"_You better be." Kate replied._

"_Why are you here?" Tony asked._

"_I wanted to tell you it was OK." Kate replied._

"_What was OK?" Tony asked._

"_To move on." Kate replied._

"_I can date Ziva?" Tony asked,_

"_She seems lovely and I am sure that you two will be very happy together." Kate replied._

"_Me too" Tony replied._

"_Just promise that you will never forget me." Kate replied._

"_That goes without saying." Tony assured._

"_And if you have more children with Ziva. Please never forget about the twins." Kate added._

"_I will never forget about my twins. They are my links to you and no matter how happy I am with Ziva. They will always be part of me." Tony assured._

_"Good now get your ass back down there." Kate ordered._

_"Goodbye Kate, I love you and I always will." Tony said as Kate faded back into the whiteness._

* * *

Holly and Noah walked back up to the surgical waiting room. Gibbs had insisted that they go downstairs and get something to eat. They had each got ramen out of the machine and hastily ate it before walking back upstairs. For the first time in her life Holly was not worried about getting her homework done early enough that she could take advantage of any extra credit opportunities and still be able to enjoy herself before dinner. She was worried about her dad and what was going to happen to her family. They got back to the waiting room and saw Gibbs talking to the doctor. They stood back until the doctor left and Gibbs went over to address the group. They slowly walked over to the rest of the group and sat on the small couch in the corner.

"Just in time." Gibbs commented.

"How is he?" Holly asked.

"There is good news and bad news." Gibbs started.

"Good news first." Noah requested.

"The good news is that the operation was a success." Gibbs explained.

"And the bad news?" Holly asked.

"The bad news is that they still don't know for sure when he will wake up." Gibbs explained.

* * *

**A/N: I originally had written Tony waking up in this chapter but I wasn't sure if that would be realistic or not. The good news is I have the wake up written and it will happen at the end of the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading. **


	19. Five Days

Five days had passed since Tony's attack and four since his operation. He still hadn't woken up but he was responsive. Gibbs, his team, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy, and even Vance had all come to see him. The trauma ward had similar restrictions to the ICU and nobody under sixteen was allowed. So Holly and Noah were unable to visit. Ziva had called several times and spoken to Gibbs but between Eliana's illness and her work. It was impossible for her to to get to the hospital. Holly and Noah were still staying with Jimmy and Breena. Gibbs wasn't wanting to leave the hospital until Tony was awake and stabilized. Since it was Friday Jimmy and Breena had offered to let the McGee children stay over for the night. So that the McGee's could go out for a date.

"Are you sure that you want all of us over tonight? Wouldn't you rather go out tonight? McGee and Delilah go out every week and it's been months since you guys did anything." Holly asked.

"Jimmy and I are not going out on dates anymore. At least not anything where you have to spend any money. We are saving money to finally go on our honeymoon this summer." Breena explained.

"Where are you going?" Noah asked.

"Maybe Hawaii, maybe somewhere in Europe depending on how much we have saved up." Breena explained.

"Cool" Holly replied.

"What are you guys doing this summer?" Breena asked.

"Probably just going up to Indiana again." Noah sighed.

"You guys really hate Indiana, huh? Why my college roommate is from there. It's a pretty cool place if you know somebody from there." Breena asked.

"We always just spend it with our mom's family. Her dad blames my dad for our mom's death and her mom just cries. When her brothers are around they always act so weird and Rachel just tries to analyze us." Holly explained.

"Have you told your dad this?" Breena asked.

"He won't listen." Noah sighed.

"He just wants a good relationship with them." Holly clarified.

* * *

Holly regretted saying such unkind things to Breena about her dad. He was lying in the hospital fighting for his life and she was complaining about him. The past five days had been really rough on her. She hated not knowing what was going to happen. She hated feeling alone and helpless. It was just before seventh period and Holly was standing outside of Miss. David's room with Julia.

"You still want to come over tonight?" Holly asked.

"Are you sure it's OK with the Palmer's?" Julia asked.

"Breena said it was OK." Holly assured.

"Yeah is it OK if we come over at seven?" Julia asked.

"That would be perfect." Holly replied.

* * *

Noah struggled to stay awake during his history lecture. He hated school and wished that he could keep playing the his dad was in the hospital card to get out of school but the day after his surgery. Jimmy and Breena had decided that he needed to get back to normal. He couldn't understand why Holly, Julia, and Chris loved school so much. To him it was stupid and painful. At long last the bell rang and he was the first person out of the room. He met Chris out by the bus ramp.

"Hey Noah, going to the hospital again this afternoon?" Chris asked.

"Maybe later but Breena still has to work." Noah replied.

"Cool, can we still come over?" Chris asked.

"Of course" Noah replied.

"Great can I bring nutter butters?" Chris asked.

"You know Holly and I are allergic." Noah reminded.

"Ugh" Chris sighed.

* * *

The twins got home from school and did their homework. The Palmer's were enforcing Tony's rule that if you wanted friends over, you had to finish your homework first. After finishing their homework Holly and Noah walked out to the backyard and sat on the picnic table that Gibbs had built for the Palmer's when they moved in. Holly sprawled out on the grass and Noah sat cross-legged on the top of the table. Holly picked grass out of the ground and set it beside her and Noah tapped his fingers on his shoes. Suddenly the backdoor swung open and Jimmy came flying out.

"Holly! Noah! We need to get to the hospital!" Jimmy called.

"Is everything OK?" Holly asked.

"I just got a call from Gibbs! Your dad is waking up!" Jimmy called.

"He is?" Noah asked.

"Are you sure?" Holly questioned.

"That's what Gibbs said! Come on let's go!" Jimmy called.

* * *

Ziva looked up nervously at the door, outside Tony's room. After five long days Tony was finally waking up. She had rushed to the hospital as soon as she got the news and now she was getting nervous. She checked the room number for the umpteenth time. It was the right room and she knew that but she was still afraid to go in. She could not believe that they had let her go into to Tony's room first. Holly and Noah were too young to be in the trauma and everybody else in his family had agreed that she should go first. Still she hadn't been at the hospital at all but everybody else had been there every day as much as they possibly could. She still didn't feel that she deserved to be the first one to go in when he was waking up. At least Ray was in jail and couldn't hurt her or Tony anymore. Finally she took a deep breath and opened the door. She stepped inside and saw a bed in the middle of the room surrounded by machines. He looked so bad. What would she do if he died? Because of her? She slowly made her way over to the bed and picked up Tony's hand. His head turned, he shifted slightly, and then his eyes opened. He looked around the room and then turned his head back towards her. Now his eyes were filled with confusion and fear. He tried to sit up but his machines kept him tethered to the bed. Defeated he lifted his head as much as he could, looked past her towards the door, and then started to panic.

"Tony are you OK?" Ziva asked.

"Kate? Where's Noah?" Tony rasped.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Tony finally awake but thinking it's 2005. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	20. Lost Memories

Tony was scared to death. The last thing he remembered was being told that Noah and him had the pneumonic plague. Both Holly and Kate had been spared but both him and Noah had been infected with the virus. Even worse Noah was much sicker than he was. The doctors were uncertain if either would survive. He had a fifteen percent chance but Noah only had a five percent chance. Had his son died? What was he going to do? How could he let this happen? Why did he open that envelope? What was he trying to prove? He was such a stupid idiot and now his child had paid the price for his behavior.

"Noah?! Where is he?!" Tony demanded.

"Tony are you OK?" Ziva asked.

"Where's our boy, Kate? Where is he? Let me see him." Tony begged.

"I am getting a doctor." Ziva replied hastily.

* * *

Tony watched as the woman he thought was Kate left the room. Why wouldn't she tell him where Noah was? Why wouldn't she just be honest with him? Why did she run off to get a doctor? What if she hated him? What if she blamed him for what happened to their son? What if she left him? What if she never let him see Holly again? What if his stupid decision to open that SWAK envelope had destroyed his life? How was he going to deal with this? How was he going to cope with his son being dead, his wife hating him, and his daughter kept from him? How would the team feel about this? Would they hate him too? Would they be divided? Abby and Timmy's marriage was already on the rocks. God, what if he had destroyed two marriages? He was such a failure and such a loser. Moments after Kate left a doctor entered the room but it wasn't Dr. Pitt. It was a slightly older female doctor. Brad was around his age maybe even a little younger but this doctor was in her early to mid forties.

"Good evening Mr. DiNozzo I am Dr. Fowler." Dr. Fowler greeted.

"Where's my son?" Tony asked.

"He's around." Dr. Fowler replied.

"Can I see him?" Tony asked.

"Soon but first I have to ask you a few questions." Dr. Fowler replied.

"OK" Tony agreed.

"What is your full name?" Dr. Fowler asked.

"Anthony Dimitri DiNozzo" Tony replied.

"And your birthday?" Dr. Fowler asked.

"July 8th 1973" Tony replied.

"What are the full names of your wife and children?" Dr. Fowler asked.

"Kaitlin Faith Todd-DiNozzo, Noah Kellen DiNozzo, and Holly Jeannette DiNozzo" Tony replied.

"Who is the president of the United States?" Dr. Fowler asked.

"George W. Bush, can't speak about him. Never been political but Kate can't stand him. She's the brains in the marriage. The brawn too when you think about it." Tony explained.

"Tony? What is today's date?" Dr. Fowler asked.

"May 10th 2005" Tony replied.

"What is the last thing you remember, before waking up?" Dr. Fowler asked.

"They told me that me and my boy had the plague. My girls were safe but me and Noah were sick. He's gone isn't he?" Tony replied.

"I need to speak with one of my colleagues real fast but we will be back to speak with you shortly. OK? Call the nurses if you need anything." Dr. Fowler replied.

* * *

Tony was supposedly waking up but Gibbs still had an uneasy feeling in his gut. Just because Tony was waking up did not mean that he was out of the woods. What if Tony had woken up with some form of brain-damage? How would he explain it to the twins? Maybe it wasn't brain-damage but something was definitely not right with his boy. He heard a commotion coming from the back of the room and looked up to see Ziver running through the room with tears in her brown eyes.

"Ziver, what's wrong?" Gibbs asked.

"Tony's awake" Ziva replied.

"That's good isn't it?" McGee asked.

"He called me, Kate." Ziva replied.

"Oh" Gibbs whispered.

"Why would he call me, Kate?" Ziva asked shakily.

"Kate was Tony's wife and the twins mother. She was killed almost exactly ten years ago and it destroyed Tony." Gibbs replied.

"Why would he ask about, Noah?" Ziva asked.

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked.

"He called me Kate and then asked where Noah was." Ziva explained.

"Oh no" Gibbs replied.

"What do you mean oh no? What is happening?" Ziva asked.

"Just before Kate died is when Tony and Noah got sick. Tony must think that it is still two thousand and five and that Noah and him have the plague." Gibbs explained.

"Are you saying that Tony has amnesia?" Ziva asked.

"Yes" Gibbs replied.

"What are we going to do?" Ziva asked.

"We have to get him to remember the past ten years." Gibbs replied.

"How do we do that?" Ziva asked.

"We talk to him, answer his questions, and here's the hard part. We are going to have to tell him that Kate is dead." Gibbs explained.

"Isn't that mean?" Ziva asked.

"Yes but it has to be done." Gibbs replied.

"How do you know? How could you possibly know that telling him is the right thing to do? Ziva questioned.

"Because I was in the exact same situation nine years ago." Gibbs replied bluntly.

* * *

Ziva had no idea what to do. The man she loved had amnesia and thought that it was ten years earlier than it was. He thought that his wife was still alive and that him and his son were still battling a horrible illness. Even worse he was under the impression that his son was dead. Gibbs said that they had to remind him of what had happened in the past ten years including Kate's death but she couldn't be involved. At least not in breaking the news about Kate. What if he never got his memories back? What if he did but he decided that he didn't want to be with her anyway? She should have known this wouldn't work out. She wasn't meant to be loved. She quietly slipped out of the hospital and got into her mini cooper. This was all her fault, Ray would have never hurt him if it weren't for her.

"I am sorry Tony. Sorry I made you relive all this." Ziva said to herself as she drove away crying.

* * *

**A/N: They work on getting Tony's memory back in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	21. Trapped Memories

Gibbs stood nervously outside of Tony's hospital room. He was relieved that Tony was finally awake and didn't seem to have any severe permanent side effects but he hated that he had amnesia. Which he knew could be permanent but he hoped that Tony would recover like he did. It had been decided unanimously that Gibbs would be the one to talk to Tony. Since he had been in almost the exact same situation nine years ago. He knew that the first and most important thing he would have to do. Was tell Tony that Noah was still alive. Then would come the hard part. Breaking the news that Kate was dead. He shuddered at the memory of Tony's reaction to Kate's death when it first happened. The idea of having to relive it all made him physically ill. Part of him wanted to lie to Tony and tell him that Kate was still alive but he knew that he would be caught eventually. It would be worse for Tony if he lied and Tony would be furious with him. Just like he would have been furious with Mike if he had lied to him about Shannon and Kelly. Finally he realized that he couldn't avoid it anymore. He opened the door and walked into Tony's room.

"Tony? You up for a visitor?" Gibbs asked.

"Depends who are you?" Tony asked.

"Tony it's me, Gibbs." Gibbs replied.

"Gibbs? You got so old!" Tony gasped.

"Your lucky you are in the hospital with a head injury." Gibbs commented.

"Head injury? No, I have the plague." Tony replied.

"Tony, we need to talk." Gibbs replied.

"What's going on? Are you going to be the one to tell me that Noah is dead?" Tony asked.

"Tony, Noah is alive. He survived the plague." Gibbs replied.

"He is? He did? Where is he?" Tony asked.

"He's out in the waiting room." Gibbs replied.

"Are Holly and Kate with him?" Tony asked.

"Tony, here's the thing." Gibbs started.

"What's the thing?" Tony asked.

"Tony, Kate is dead." Gibbs replied.

"She's dead? What happened? They said she wasn't sick!" Tony cried.

"She was shot and killed Tony. She died right in front of you." Gibbs explained.

"What do you mean? I have been sick." Tony asked.

"Tony this is going to be hard to take but you have amnesia and it is two thousand and fifteen. You beat the plague ten years ago and Kate died two weeks later." Gibbs explained.

"That's not funny." Tony argued.

"Tony, I am not joking." Gibbs explained.

"Yes you are! Bring me Kate! I want Kate! I know that she is alive! She was just here! She was here when I woke up!" Tony snapped.

"Tony, that was Ziva and she is your girlfriend." Gibbs replied.

"I would never cheat on Kate! Out! Get out!" Tony snapped.

"Tony" Gibbs started.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Tony snapped.

* * *

Gibbs gave himself three, hard slaps to the back of his head. He had handled Tony all wrong. How could he be so stupid? He had, had amnesia before. He really should have handled it better but he had fucked up and now Tony was angry and afraid. Even worse than he was before.

"How did it go?" Holly asked.

"I fucked up." Gibbs admitted.

"What did you do?" Holly asked.

"I was way too blunt with him, way too soon." Gibbs replied.

"Oh" Holly replied.

"I told him about Kate and everything just came rushing out." Gibbs explained.

"Oh dear" Ducky sighed.

"What do I do?" Gibbs asked.

"You wait it out and once things start to come back to him, he will forgive you." Holly assured.

"How do you know?" Gibbs asked.

"I know my dad." Holly replied.

* * *

Tony could not believe that Gibbs would tell him such horrible lies. Gibbs was like a father to him. A real father who loved him and didn't tell him lies just to hurt him or at least he thought he was. Now it was painfully clear. That Gibbs he was one in the same with Senior. He should have known. Senior had always told him that he was a worthless loser and that nobody would ever be able to honestly love him. He knew that Kate was alive and he would never cheat on her. Especially not after she had helped him through the plague and if Noah were still alive then where was he and why wouldn't he let him see his boy. He closed his eyes and slammed his head heard back on to the pillow. That's when it all came rushing back to him...

* * *

_Tony looked back at his wife as they ran up to the roof top. She had come to NCIS at the end of her Maternity Leave after having a falling out with her boss at the Secret Service just before the twins were born. Noah Kellen and Holly Jeanette were now twenty-three months old. A good chunk of the twins lives the team had been hunting Ari Haswari a wanted terrorist and member of Mosad. That's who they were after right now. They were on the roof with Gibbs and McGee was on the ground. They were surveying the roof when Kate was shot. She fell to the ground but quickly revealed her vest. _

"_Thank God you are OK!" Tony cried._

"_What worried you would have to raise Holly on your own?" Kate asked._

"_No I love you well a little that." Tony replied._

"_Tony DiNozzo you are a..." Kate said before getting hit in the forehead._

* * *

_Tony fell to his knees but she was already dead. She had died the second that bullet hit her. He sobbed over his wife's limp body. Gibbs called McGee up and the two of them carried Tony down to the bullpen. He fell from his desk and rolled onto the floor. He cried onto the carpet. _

"_Come on Tony I am taking you home." Gibbs said._

"_She's dead! Kate's dead!" Tony sobbed._

"_I know Tony." Gibbs replied._

"_I loved her. I will never love again." Tony sobbed._

* * *

"I will never love anybody again." Tony said to himself as he sat back up in his bed.

* * *

Ziva parked her car at the nearest park. She knew that she should get home to Eliana but she needed to clear her head. Tony couldn't even remember her. It had taken months for him to finally want to date her and now in an instant it had all been undone. At least Ray had gotten what he wanted. Because she and Tony were probably over. Over, before they even began. She had lost the man she loved all because her ex-fiancee was too psychotic to let her go and move on. She slid down to the concrete and let tears fall from her cheeks. She heard a rustling in the bushes and then a rock, came flying from the spot where she heard the noise and landed at her feet. She bent down to pick it up and saw that a note was tied to the top.

"_If you thought you could get away from me. You are an idiot. I will get you back and next time I will kill Tony DiNozzo and his twins too."_

* * *

**A/N: Both Tony and Ziva are in trouble now. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	22. Regained Memories

Once he remembered losing Kate, all of Tony's memories came rushing back to him. Every single one of them. The good ones like the twins starting school and finally being relieved of Agent Aboard duty and the bad ones like Gibbs being blown up and Jenny dying. Maybe Gibbs's tough love had spared him the struggle of regaining his memories. Then again it was Gibbs who talked to him, maybe he ordered his memories to come back or else. Whatever the case, he was relieved to have his memories back even the bad ones. He was glad to be semi whole again and that he would be able to go home to his twins as soon as possible and be able to remember who they are now. With the recovery of all his memories came the memory of the twin's teacher. The one who had helped Holly when she started her first period and always made sure to look out for Noah. He remembered that he liked her, really liked her. In fact if he was being perfectly honest he was in love with her but was he ready for love again? It had been a long time since Kate died but she was his everything and any other woman seemed like she would just be a consultation prize. He didn't want a consultation prize. He wanted Kate.

"Tony? How are you doing?" McGee asked from the doorway.

"My head hurts and I am confused." Tony admitted.

"Still searching for lost memories?" McGee asked.

"No, Gibbs's tough love got my memories back but I don't know Probie I am confused." Tony explained.

"What's wrong? Maybe I can help?" McGee offered.

"Right before the accident. Was I, was I in love?" Tony asked.

"Yes" McGee replied.

"OK" Tony sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" McGee asked.

"Not sure I can handle it today." Tony replied.

"OK, do you have anymore questions?" McGee asked.

"When can I see the twins again?" Tony asked.

"Just as soon as you are out of trauma." McGee replied.

"When will they spring me from this ward?" Tony asked.

"As soon as your tests come back and are normal." McGee explained.

"Good, I miss my babies. Been almost a week since I've seen them." Tony replied.

"They are missing you too." McGee replied.

"Who's been taking care of them?" Tony asked.

"Jimmy and Breena" McGee replied.

"Why isn't Gibbs taking care of them? He always takes care of the twins when I can't?" Tony asked.

"He has been staying here every night. Waiting for you to wake up or simply to be there just in case you needed him." McGee explained.

"Sounds like Gibbs." Tony chuckled.

"So you aren't still pissed at him?" McGee asked.

"I could never stay mad at Gibbs. He is the first person to truly love me like a parent." Tony explained.

"Yep that's Gibbs." McGee replied smiling.

* * *

All of Tony's scans and tests came back normal and he was released to a regular room. He would remain in the hospital for at least another twenty-four hours under observation but as long as he remained stable throughout that time, he would be free to go home. Still he would need somebody with him twenty-four hours a day until he was cleared by the neurologist. He wasn't looking forward to being "babysat" all day, every day but at least it was only temporary. God willing it was only temporary. Even worse than being babysat, was the fact that he couldn't go back in the field until he was cleared. Which meant being resigned to desk duty. He hated desk duty. He wasn't in his new room long. When the door swung open and Holly and Noah came running into the room.

"Dad!" Holly and Noah cried running towards his bed.

"Holly! Noah! I have missed you two!" Tony cried.

"How are you, doing?" Holly asked.

"Pretty good, my head is killing me though." Tony explained.

"I thought you said that you were going to be OK." Noah commented.

"It's just an expression. I am going to be fine but my head is really hurting." Tony assured.

"Is that normal?" Holly asked.

"Considering my injuries yes it is." Tony assured.

"When are you getting out of here?" Holly asked.

"Most likely tomorrow. Unless there are complications." Tony explained.

"Complications?" Holly asked.

"Severe headaches, seizures, that sort of things." Tony replied.

"What are the odds of those things happening?" Holly asked.

"Not likely but they have to be careful." Tony explained.

"Are you going to be able to go back to work?" Noah asked.

"I can go back to work probably next week but I can't go back into the field until the neurologist clears me." Tony explained.

"That's gonna suck for you." Noah stated.

"It is" Tony agreed.

"Will everything else be able to go back to normal though?" Noah asked.

"I can't drive or stay on my own until I am cleared by the neurologist." Tony explained.

"What do you mean stay alone?" Holly asked.

"I am going to need somebody with me twenty-four hours a day to make sure I don't fall or hit my head again." Tony explained.

"OK, I think I can do that. I will just transfer to the online school so that I don't have to take the competency exam or go to truancy court." Holly explained.

"No you need to keep your life as normal as possible. Besides I need another adult with me who can drive me around and help me out if I fell or something." Tony explained.

"Who are you going to stay with? Will they let us stay there too or will we have to stay with the Palmer's until you get better?" Holly asked.

"I am going to be staying with you guys and believe me I am going to need all the help I can get to keep your dad out of trouble." Gibbs explained entering the room.

* * *

**A/N: Hopefully Tony will behave for Gibbs. He will have to decide all over about Ziva in the next chapter, which will be up as soon as possible. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	23. Healed

Tony had been out of the hospital for a month now and today was his check-up with the neurologist. With any lucky he would be cleared and finally able to go back into the field and more importantly back to his own life. He loved Gibbs, he really did but after the second day at his house. He was wishing that somebody else, anybody else would step up to stay with him. For a bad-ass ex Marine, Gibbs was ridiculously over protective.

"How ya feeling?" Gibbs asked as Tony setting a plate of bacon, eggs, and hash-browns down in front of him.

"Pretty good, really glad my appointment is today, I just want my life back." Tony replied.

"Me too but I am just hoping you don't have any damage." Gibbs replied.

* * *

Tony sat on the edge of the exam table. Somehow he had managed to convince Gibbs to stay out in the waiting room. God, he wanted good results. He hadn't had any serious headaches, just a few minor ones that were easily treated. His memory was good and didn't have any problems with his cognitive abilities.

"Good morning, Agent DiNozzo." Dr. Mallory greeted.

"Morning, Doc." Tony replied.

"How are you feeling today?" Dr. Mallory asked.

"Good, really good." Tony replied.

"Well based on your pre-appointment questions, you are doing really well. Now we just have to get to you an MRI to make sure that everything is healed properly and you should be cleared to get back to your normal life." Dr. Mallory explained.

* * *

"How did it go?" Gibbs asked as Tony walked back out into the waiting room.

"I am cleared! I can go back to normal!" Tony cried, twirling around in a circle.

"Well your definition of normal, DiNozzo." Gibbs smirked.

"Whatever, I am driving." Tony replied taking the keys from Gibbs's hands.

"Just don't get run off the road by any old ladies on rascals." Gibbs muttered following him out to the car.

* * *

The bell rang and Holly picked up her backpack and started to leave Mrs. David's class. She could not believe that their were only a few more weeks left in the school year. Then she would be graduated and on her way to high school. Which meant no more Mrs. David. She was looking forward to the challenges and lessons she would learn in high school but she would miss, Miss. David. She had become her favorite teacher ever over the course of the past semester.

"Holly, could you stick around for a moment?" Miss. David called.

"Yes of course." Holly replied.

"I can write a note if you need." Miss. David offered.

"No my next class is right down the hall." Holly replied.

"Great, how is your dad doing?" Miss. David asked after the last student left.

"Pretty good, he actually has his follow-up today." Holly replied.

"Excellent" Miss. David replied.

"Hey uh thanks for being so helpful to me during this ordeal. It means a lot." Holly replied.

* * *

That night Tony was sitting up in bed. It felt so good to be back in his own bed, in his own house, after driving his own car home, knowing that he would be able to go back to the field the next day. He had really taken all of that for granted before the accident. Now he was just glad to finally have his old life back. It had only been a month but it felt like years. He was drifting off to sleep, when he heard a knock on his door.

"Come in!" Tony cried.

"You still, up dad?" Holly asked.

"No I am asleep." Tony replied sarcastically.

"Should I come back later?" Holly asked.

"It's OK, I always have time for you." Tony assured.

"How did it go today?" Holly asked.

"Like I told you at dinner. It went great. That's why we are home and I am driving again." Tony explained.

"So no, complications?" Holly asked.

"No complications" Tony assured.

"And everything else is good?" Holly asked.

"I am fine." Tony assured.

"Good...Good" Holly replied turning to leave the room.

"Hold on, what is this about?" Tony asked.

"I am just a little scared, that's all." Holly replied.

"Scared of what?" Tony asked.

"Scared of losing you." Holly admitted.

"Holly, I am just fine." Tony assured.

"I know but what if you hadn't been? What if you had died too? I already lost mom and Noah gets sick so easy. Even the doctors don't know for sure if he is going to live a full life. I...I just don't want to be alone." Holly admitted.

"While I cannot promise that me, Noah, or anybody will have enough tomorrows. I can assure you that you will never be alone. You have a whole crazy NCIS family that will never let you be alone." Tony assured.

"I know I have said this a million times and I know that you never want to date again but I want a mom." Holly explained.

"What if I told you I was dating again. That I met a girl before the accident and now that I am feeling better I am going to try and get her back." Tony questioned.

"Your dating? Who?" Holly asked.

"Miss. David" Tony replied.

"You are dating me and Noah's, English teacher." Holly replied.

"Yes is that OK?" Tony asked.

"Yes! I love Miss. David!" Holly cried.

"Good, just don't tell your brother. I want to break the news a little more gently." Tony replied.

"No I won't. Just take care of yourself." Holly replied, hugging her dad and then leaving the room.

* * *

Ziva stood in the doorway of her daughter's room and watched her sleep. It had been over a month and Ray hadn't tried anything or showed any signs he was around but she was still on edge. The last time she let her guard down, Ray attacked Tony. She still felt terrible about that. She hated that she couldn't even be in love because Ray was too possessive and unable to let her go. Even though she had thrown him out. The day he left Eliana alone with a murderer to meet with a prostitute was the day that she was done with that psychotic bastard.

"Mommy!" Eliana cried.

"It's OK baby girl. I am right here." Ziva assured embracing her daughter.

* * *

**A/N: Tony is all better and wanting Ziva back! New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	24. At Last

After getting the clear from his doctor, Tony was more than ready to go back into the field. Being stuck on desk duty was fun for about fifteen minutes. The fifteen minutes his first day back where Gibbs let everybody have coffee and talk about how grateful the were that he was OK. That ended all to quickly and the next thing he knew he was alone in the office typing up reports and doing busy work. While the others were out at a crime scene. That's how it was for three miserable weeks. So the morning he could finally go back into the field, he jumped out of bed and ran downstairs.

"Did you run down here?" Holly asked.

"Yes because I am so excited." Tony replied.

"Oh yeah you get to go back into the field today." Holly said.

"Yes I do thank God." Tony replied.

"Just try to stay out of trouble." Holly replied.

"I never get in trouble in the field." Tony reminded.

"I know I was just talking about in general." Holly replied.

"I'll be good." Tony sighed.

* * *

After seeing the twins off to the bus stop, Tony climbed into his car and headed towards the office. It was his first time being alone in the car since his attack and it felt great. He was finally getting his life back. Granted it had only been a month but to him it felt like a lifetime. A lifetime of being under the constant monitoring of his surrogate father and teenage daughter who was way too grown up for her age. At least Delilah and Breena had kept McGee and Jimmy from getting too crazy and Ducky and Abby somehow managed to keep themselves in line. He could not imagine how unbearable the past month would have been if all of his surrogate family had been smothering him with attention and over-protection. He probably would have eaten his gun or used Vance's toothpicks to make a scale model of an Army base. Either one would have been equally effective in getting him killed.

* * *

It felt so good to park in his own parking space upon arrival at NCIS. That he just sat in his car and too it all in for a few minutes. Before getting out of the car and walking inside. The elevator was slow so he just took the stairs two at a time up to the squad-room.

"I'm baaack!" Tony cried jumping out of the door that led to the stairwell.

"Quiet down DiNozzo." Gibbs warned.

"But I am back! Why are you not making a bigger fuss?" Tony asked making a beeline for the center of the bullpen.

"You have been back at work for three weeks." McGee reminded not even looking up form his computer.

"I know but I can go back in the field." Tony explained.

"Actually I don't think you can." Gibbs commented.

"Why not? My doctor gave me the clear!" Tony whined.

"Yeah but you are limping. Go down to Ducky and get checked out." Gibbs ordered.

"Fine!" Tony sighed limping off.

* * *

Tony could not believe what he had done. He had aggravated his old knee injury doing that idiotic jump out of the stairwell. He mentally kicked himself for forgetting the stairwell was a higher jump down than the elevator. Hopefully he would get lucky and he hadn't done any real damage. A bad enough knee injury meant physical therapy, or worse surgery, or even worse permanent early retirement from field duty. He better not have signed his metaphoric death warrant. He shifted nervously on Ducky's table the pain in his knee driving him up the wall.

"Oh Anthony, what have you done to yourself this time?" Ducky asked.

"I don't know. I jumped out of the stairwell and injured my knee." Tony explained.

"Well now I know why Jethro's hair has grayed so since he met you." Ducky sighed.

"I was just so happy to be back." Tony replied.

"Oh Anthony, you are never boring." Ducky sighed, rolling his eyes/

"Can you just tell me if my knee is jacked up or not?" Tony asked.

"I will do the best I can Anthony but if I say so, you have to go to the hospital." Ducky replied.

"Deal" Tony reluctantly agreed, praying that he wouldn't have to go to the hospital. He hated hospitals almost as much as he hated when Gibbs was right.

* * *

Ziva sat at her desk, the day was over and her classroom was empty but she was stuck grading paper. She was in no real rush to get home though. Eliana was on a field trip to the aquarium with her preschool class and wouldn't be back until four-thirty. She could not believe that her baby was big enough to go on field trips. She was growing up so fast. Ziva prayed that she could do right by her and give her the life that she deserved. In a sense she was kind of relieved that her dad had died before he could do to her what he had done to his older children. Except for Talia that is. Talia was the good one. She knew that now. She missed her more than any of them and she missed her parents and Ari enough that it hurt to think about.

"Miss. David, are you alright?" Tony asked.

"Yes, I was just thinking about some things." Ziva replied.

"Would you like to talk about them?" Tony asked.

"Not really, I don't... Oh Tony! I didn't recognize you!" Ziva cried.

"Well it's been a while." Tony laughed.

"How are you doing? Holly said that you got cleared by the neurologist yesterday." Ziva asked.

"Yeah and then I aggravated an old knee injury today. So it's another three days at the desk." Tony replied.

"Oh I am sorry to hear that." Ziva apologized.

"It's OK. How are you?" Tony asked.

"Good just nostalgic." Ziva replied.

"I just wanted to let you know. That I am back to normal and I am ready to try dating you again. If you will have me." Tony replied.

"How's Friday night?" Ziva asked.

"It's perfect." Tony replied in a smile.

* * *

**A/N: Finally Tony and Ziva are back to dating. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	25. Disapproval

The idea of dating was still an alien concept to Tony. With the exception of the Jeanne fiasco. He had not dated since he was just out of college. It was funny to him. When he was in high school and college he was a player who considered three dates a long term relationship but after he met Kate. He did not want anyone else and he was sure that Kate wouldn't want him to love again. Now he had approval from her and more importantly Holly. He just had to talk to Noah about dating Ziva and then he would be free to dive in. Since Holly knew and he would be going on his third date that night. It seemed like the perfect time to sit his son down and discuss his new relationship with him. It was Friday afternoon and Holly was off with Julie McGee shopping for the newest McGee. Due to arrive in the fall.

"Hey Noah, can I come in?" Tony asked from the doorway to his son's room.

"Yeah sure" Noah replied.

"We need to talk." Tony said sitting down on the bed.

"Is this about the frog? Because you said that the best way to impress a girl is to act interested in what she's interested in and Gloria Ross is a vegetarian and animal lover. So when I found out the biology class was dissecting frogs I..." Noah rambled.

"OK you are grounded the rest of the weekend and you are paying for the frog but that is not what I wanted to talk about." Tony replied.

"So you didn't know and I just confessed to you?" Noah asked.

"Yes you did." Tony replied.

"Great" Noah sighed.

"Can I tell you my thing now?" Tony asked.

"Go ahead" Noah replied.

"I have a date tonight." Tony replied.

"A what?" Noah asked.

"A date" Tony replied.

"Like with a girl?" Noah asked.

"Yes, more specifically Miss. David." Tony replied.

"My English teacher?!" Noah snapped.

"Yes" Tony replied.

"How could you do this? Have you forgotten about mom?!" Noah snapped.

"I could never forget about you mom, Noah but I have been alone for so long." Tony explained.

"Alone?! You have us! You always told us that we were all you needed!" Noah yelled.

"I know but Noah I..." Tony started.

"No! Leave me alone! I will only talk to you if you cancel the date!" Noah interrupted.

* * *

Tony felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. He had been sure that Noah would be thrilled that he was dating again. Especially since he was dating Ziva. Miss. David had been Noah's favorite teacher in a long time. Instead he was furious with him and wanted him to call off the date. He didn't want to cancel on Ziva but if Noah wasn't happy. He couldn't justify dating anybody. After all it was more important that his kids be happy than for him to be happy. He went into the kitchen, looked at his watch, grabbed a beer, and walked out to the living room. He was sitting with his feet propped up on the coffee table when he heard his phone ring. It was Gibbs calling.

"Hello?"

"Do you still want me to come by and check on the twins around nine?"

"No"

"You think you'll be home by then?"

"I am not going. I was just about to call and cancel the date."

"Why? Is everything OK? Are you sick? Is your knee bothering you?"

"I am fine. The problem is with Noah."

"Shit he's not in the hospital again is he?"

"He's fine but he wants me to cancel the date."

"You can't do that."

"But Noah really doesn't want me to date. He is so upset."

"You can't let that kid call the shots."

"I know but this is such a small thing."

"No it's not! This is a huge thing and besides if you let him decide this. Next thing you know he is going to be ruling the house."

"I guess you're right but what am I supposed to tell Noah?"

"Tell him that you are going out with Ziva whether he likes it or not."

"What if he hates me?"

"He will get over it."

"I hated all the woman my dad dated."

"Your dad is an idiot and the woman he dates are cheap floozies."

"You never liked the girls that Jackson dated after your mom died."

"Yes and I feel terrible about that every day. He was deeply in love with a local girl when I was around Noah's age and he gave her up for me. He never found another woman. He died alone and depressed because of me."

* * *

Tony knew that Gibbs was right. He couldn't let Noah call the shots and he couldn't just sit around waiting. If he did Ziva was sure to find somebody else. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and vibrant. It wouldn't be long before another man swooped in and scooped her up. Still he felt guilty for moving so fast. Maybe if he had told Noah sooner, things would have gone better. He was just getting ready to leave when Holly jumped out of McGee's car and came running up the driveway.

"Are you leaving?" Holly asked brushing past him.

"Yes but I could have said hi to Probie." Tony replied.

"He has to get home." Holly replied.

"Is everything OK? Delilah isn't having trouble is she?" Tony asked.

"Delilah is fine but something happened with Chris and a frog." Holly replied.

"You don't say." Tony commented.

"Did they call NCIS or something?" Holly asked.

"No your brother had the same issue." Tony replied.

"It wasn't because of Gloria Ross? Was it?" Holly asked.

"It was" Tony replied.

"Oh no" Holly replied.

"Why?" Tony asked.

"Gloria Ross may be a vegan and president of the Qautico Youth Animal Society but she has no respect for boys." Holly explained.

"Shit" Tony whispered.

"Poor Noah but don't worry about him. I can talk to him while you are gone." Holly replied.

"Noah is pretty upset right now. I will talk to him tomorrow morning. Please don't say anything about Gloria right now." Tony instructed.

"If he doesn't know why is he upset?" Holly asked.

"He doesn't want me to date." Tony replied.

* * *

**A/N: Don't worry Tony goes through with the date in the next chapter and Ziva helps with Gloria. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading. **


	26. Change Of Plans

Tony felt terrible about breaking his promise to his son. Especially knowing what that girl had done to him. He had to remind himself of Gibbs's words. That he couldn't let his kids control his life and that Noah would come around in time. He also had to remind himself that the majority of middle school romances ended in a broken heart. Still his heart ached for Noah. That kid had been through a lot in his short life. He was a strong kid, who came from a strong family but still he worried for that boy. The first broken heart was always the hardest. If it weren't for Holly being home and visible to take care of her brother. He would have at least called Ziva and rescheduled for the following weekend. He was about halfway to the restaurant when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Tony it's me."

"Your canceling aren't you?"

"No...no of course not but if you don't mind I will be bringing somebody alone."

"Who? I don't have any single friends looking for a hook-up. So if that's your intention I am sorry."

"Oh no it's nothing like that. My baby-sitter canceled on me. So I am bringing Eliana. I am sorry but I have nobody else I can call so last minute."

"Oh that's fine. I guess we are going to a different restaurant then."

"Oh no we can still go to the French place. My neighbor is taking Eliana to Burger King down the street. She can keep her for a couple of hours but then she has to get home. She has to be up at four in the morning for her job."

"Oh OK, great. I can't wait to meet her. Eliana I mean, not your neighbor."

"You are going to love her."

"I bet I will."

* * *

Tony knew that Ziva was expecting him to be angry at her for bringing her daughter alone but the truth was it was a huge weight off of his shoulders. Meeting the kids was a major step in a relationship with a single parent. Ziva already knew and adored Noah and Holly. Even if Noah wasn't exactly excited about his dad dating again. He still had a good relationship with Miss. David. So if he could get on Eliana's good side. Ziva and him would be golden. He was a block from the restaurant when his phone rang again. His stomach dropped. He was expecting it to be Ziva calling to say that Eliana had overate at Burger King and then thrown up all over the playground and that she would have to cancel. Taking one last deep breath. He picked up his phone and answered. Praying that he was not about to be canceled on.

"Hello?"

"Are you going through with it or did you let the kid get the best of you?"

"I am just pulling into the restaurant."

"Good boy"

"There is a slight change of plans though."

"What?"

"Ziva's baby-sitter canceled. So she is going to pick her daughter up after dinner. Her neighbor is keeping her for a while but she has to get up early.

"You ready for that?"

"Yeah, she already knows my kids. I may as well meet hers."

"Well best of luck to you."

"Thanks dad"

* * *

Tony finally arrived to the restaurant and spotted Ziva standing by her Mini Cooper. She was dressed in a tight fitting red top and knee length black skirt. She looked absolutely amazing. Even though he was wearing an Armani Suit. He still felt like a slob compared to her. She was so young and perfect and he was so old and decrepit. What could she possibly see in him.

"Hello Tony" Ziva greeted.

"Hello Ziva. You look amazing." Tony replied.

"You look good too. Like a model." Ziva replied.

"Thank you" Tony replied shyly.

"We have two hours, before I have to get Eliana. Let's go inside." Ziva said.

"Oh yeah of course." Tony replied.

* * *

Even under the dimmed lights of the restaurant. Ziva still looked absolutely radiant. Tony was totally and completely in love with her. If it wouldn't be too soon and completely inappropriate. He would get down on one knee and ask her to marry him right there.

"Are you alright Tony?" Ziva asked.

"Yes I just can't get over how perfect you are." Tony replied.

"Stop, I look terrible." Ziva countered.

"No you are amazing. God, you are almost as perfect as Kate." Tony replied, kicking himself for comparing Ziva to Kate.

"Holly has shown me pictures of Kate and let me tell you. That is a huge compliment." Ziva replied.

"You aren't intimidated? I don't sound like a jackass?" Tony asked.

"Of course not! Just to hear you say I am almost as good as Kate was. I mean wow. That is amazing. I mean she gave you everything." Ziva replied.

"I know I sound stupid but this is my first time dating in a long time and I am extremely rusty." Tony explained.

"Believe me I get that." Ziva assured.

"Thank you" Tony replied.

"So how are you?" Ziva asked.

"Good but a little worried about Noah." Tony replied.

"Is he OK?" Ziva asked.

"He likes this girl but she is well loose." Tony explained.

"Gloria Ross?" Ziva asked.

"Yes" Tony replied.

"She is kind of a legend at the school and not in a good way." Ziva explained.

"What should I do?" Tony asked.

"Be there for Noah. As for Gloria. I suspect that Holly will deal with her. She is a great sister." Ziva explained.

"I can see that." Tony replied.

* * *

After dinner Tony went on to the movie theater. So that he could be sure to get tickets for the nine o'clock showing of "Inside Out". It certainly was not the movie he had planned on seeing but it was the best movie for kids Eliana's age and he wanted make a good impression. Ten minutes before nine Ziva walked in the theater carrying a little girl with curly brown hair and olive skin. She was absolutely adorable. She looked a lot like Ziva but not exactly.

"Tony this is Eliana." Ziva introduced.

"Hi Eliana I am Tony." Tony greeted.

"Hi Tony!" Eliana cried.

"Good you are hitting it off." Ziva replied relieved.

* * *

**A/N: Something happens in the next chapter that changes Tony and his family's lives for ever. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	27. The Worst Possible News

Noah bolted up in bed. He could not believe that it had happened again. Every night for the past month and a half. He had woken up in the middle of the night in soaked sheets. He found himself using his rescue inhaler almost every day at least once and he found himself getting winded before warm-ups were over in soccer practice. At first he had thought that it was his asthma but then he noticed that his heart rate was not going down for hours after soccer practice. The only good thing about his dad dating Miss. David, was that he did not seem to his only son's recent symptoms. Somehow he had managed to hide his symptoms from Gibbs and Holly, who always seemed to catch every little thing. He climbed out of bed, stripped his sheets and sleep shorts. He quickly put on a clean pair of boxers, carried his wet sheets and clothes downstairs, and put them in the washer. He went up to the bathroom, rinsed his boxers in the bathtub, and dried them off with the hair-dryer. He had a quick shower and then got back into bed. Praying that nobody would find his laundry and wracking his brain for excuses in case somebody did find them.

* * *

Tony came downstairs and found Holly sitting at the table going over the previous nights homework. Noah was half asleep in the seat beside hers. He walked over to the counter poured himself a cup of coffee and bowl of bran cereal. Before walking back to the table and sitting down at the seat at the head of the table.

"Are you eating Raisin Bran?" Holly asked.

"Yes Gibbs is getting onto me about my health again." Tony replied annoyed.

"Well you should be in top shape if you are going to go out in the field." Holly replied.

"Whatever mom" Tony taunted.

"Enough with the banter!" Noah snapped.

"Something wrong, Noah?" Tony asked.

"I'm just tired is all. I think I am going to skip breakfast and lie down." Noah replied, standing up.

"Are you wearing boxers?" Tony asked.

"I got a little hot last night, so I stripped down." Noah lied.

"You have always been a briefs guy." Tony commented.

"Well I changed it up! I mean I learned in science that briefs can give you slow swimmers and I would hate to deprive the ladies of the golden DiNozzo seed." Noah explained.

"Gross" Holly commented.

"Well don't worry about giving the ladies your golden DiNozzo seed for at least ten years." Tony instructed.

"Trust me not a problem." Noah assured.

"Oh Noah before you lie down. Don't forget we have our appointments with Dr. Pitt this afternoon and you are seeing Dr. Rodgers and Dr. Hiller too." Tony reminded.

"Oh yeah great." Noah replied nervously.

"You may as well stay home today I was going to check you out at eleven but if you aren't feeling well." Tony suggested.

"Great" Noah replied.

* * *

Greatly relieved that his dad had allowed him to take a full day off of school. He was feeling extremely crappy that morning. The only drawback was that he was meeting with all three of the specialists he had to see that afternoon. Which meant that at least one of them would catch on to his problems. Which meant shots and scans.

"Noah!" Tony called from the doorway.

"Time to get ready, already dad?" Noah asked.

"Not yet, Holl actually just left for school." Tony replied.

"So what's up?" Noah asked.

"Are these your sheets?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, why?" Noah asked.

"I found them in the dryer and they kind of smell like pee." Tony commented.

"Oh that uh that's..." Noah stammered.

"I know what this is." Tony replied.

"What?" Noah asked nervously.

"This is because I am dating Miss. David. You are struggling with all the changes going on in your life." Tony explained.

"Are you going to breakup with her?" Noah asked.

"Of course not but if you need to talk, Gibbs has been where you are, Palmer too. So if you ever need to talk. Just let them know." Tony explained.

"Yeah thanks" Noah replied.

* * *

Tony would never admit it to Noah but he always stressed when Noah and him had their check-ups. He always worried that one of them would get bad news. He didn't know how he would cope if him or Noah got a bad diagnosis. He sat on the examination table in Dr. Pitt's office. Noah had decided that he was only enough to go to his appointments on his own. So he was in the office down the hall.

"Good afternoon, Tony. How are we feeling today?" Dr. Pitt asked.

"OK" Tony replied.

"Any issues with your breathing? Any new pains?" Dr. Pitt asked.

"No" Tony replied.

"Are you taking your inhaler and meds?" Dr. Pitt asked.

"Yes" Tony replied.

"Are you telling the truth or am I going to have to call Gibbs and ask him?" Dr. Pitt asked.

"OK, I am having some issues catching my breath after I am active. I know that is normal but it is taking twice as long as it used to." Tony admitted.

"OK I will run some additional tests but I don't think it is anything super serious. Probably just an increase in your asthma symptoms." Dr. Pitt explained.

* * *

Noah was sweating profusely as he sat on the table in the doctor's office. He was scared to death about the results he would get. He knew that all of the organs affected by the plague were suffering. Worse than they had in the ten years since he got sick. He had remained pretty stable throughout his life but recently he had taken a terrible turn. He was scared to death at the idea of being sick. He wasn't ready to die. He was only thirteen.

"Good afternoon, Noah how are you?" Dr. Pitt asked.

"OK" Noah sighed.

"Any concerning symptoms?" Dr. Pitt asked.

"Yes" Noah sighed.

"What?" Dr. Pitt asked.

"I can't have to use my rescue inhaler all the time, my heart is almost always racing, I wet the bed almost every night, and I have severe abdominal pain." Noah admitted.

"Noah that is very serious." Dr. Pitt replied.

* * *

Tony sat beside Noah in the waiting room. He had, had his extra tests and Noah had seen all three of his specialists. Now all they had to do was sit and wait for the final results. Tony noticed that his son was quieter than usual as they waited. Noah was so much like him. It was almost impossible to keep him quiet. He chalked it up to Noah being angry at him for dating again. It was now almost exactly ten years since Kate died. He just couldn't think of his son being sick. The double doors opened and Dr. Pitt walked into the room. Followed by Dr. Hiller and Dr. Rodgers.

"Good afternoon, again Tony." Dr. Pitt greeted.

"Good afternoon Mr. DiNozzo." Dr. Rodgers started.

"Good afternoon Mr. DiNozzo." Dr. Hiller added.

"What's the verdict?" Tony asked.

"Well Tony just as I suspected you had a slight downturn in your asthma but nothing too serious. I have adjusted your inhaler prescription and you can pick it up in an hour." Dr. Pitt explained.\

"What about Noah?" Tony asked.

"That's the thing, Noah's news is not near as good." Dr. Pitt replied.

"What do you mean?" Noah asked.

"I am sorry but Noah is in total renal failure." Dr. Hiller replied.

"OK so he gets a kidney transplant." Tony reasoned.

"It's not that simple Mr. DiNozzo. I have noticed deterioration of the heart muscle." Dr. Rodgers added.

"Are my lungs at least OK?" Noah asked.

"I am sorry Noah. I really hate to say this but I discovered large masses on both of your lungs. We are going to admit you tonight for further testing and a biopsy first thing in the morning but I am fully expecting it to be cancer." Dr. Pitt explained, trying to hide the grief in his voice.

"Wh...What are you saying?" Tony asked.

"I am sorry Tony but Noah is dying." Dr. Pitt replied, voice cracking despite his best efforts.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Tony, Noah, and Holly naturally this will be tough for the family. If you are uncomfortable with the subject of the death of a child. I am sorry. Feel free to inform me if you are upset but also refrain from calling me names and being cruel. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	28. Heart Break

It was a cruel feeling. Tony felt like he had been punched in the gut but he couldn't breakdown in front of his son. As hard as it was going to be. He had to be strong for Noah. He had always known that there was a chance that Noah's health would take a bad turn but he never expected it to be this soon and this bad. He never thought that his son would be terminal. He had beaten five percent odds to survive the plague. He should be able to beat anything but his body had betrayed him. All in one cruel afternoon. He had noticed that Noah seemed off and was expecting their to be bad news but he was not expecting this.

"Come here" Tony said to Noah.

"I'm scared dad." Noah sniffed.

"I know you are but I am never going to leave your side." Tony assured.

"What about you and Holly?" Noah asked.

"Don't worry about us. We will be OK." Tony assured.

"I love you dad." Noah sniffed.

"I love you too Noah. More than anything. I love you so much. I really do." Tony replied.

"I know you love me dad, tell Holly I love her." Noah replied.

"You can tell her yourself. I will have Miss. David bring her over but you are not going to die right away." Tony explained.

"God, I hope that you are right." Noah sniffed.

"Me too, Noah. Me too." Tony replied.

* * *

While Noah was being admitted to the hospital. Tony stepped outside to make the necessary calls. He was allowed to use his cellphone in the waiting rooms and in the cafeteria but he needed to get some fresh air and to catch his breath. He looked at his watch, it was one forty-three. Meaning that there were about fifteen minutes left in Holly's last class. If he wanted her to get to the hospital right away. He needed to call, Miss David first. He knew that it was heavily frowned upon for teachers to answer their cellphones during classes. So he selected her classroom number.

"Miss. Ziva David"

"It's me Tony."

"Hello Mr. DiNozzo. Um there are only fifteen minutes left in class. Can you call me back at two?"

"This isn't a personal call."

"Oh what's up then?"

"Can you do me a huge favor and bring Holly to Bethesda Naval Hospital, after school."

"Of course I can, Tony. Why?"

"Look I know, Holly is in your class and I don't want to upset her. I will explain when you guys get here."

"I understand"

* * *

Ziva hung up her phone and turned back to her class. Tony's phone call had made her extremely nervous. Why did she need to bring Holly to the hospital? Why couldn't Tony go and get her himself? Was he sick? What would she do if he were sick? They had finally got their relationship rolling after a rough and rocky start.

"Alright class please read chapters four through seven and answer the follow-up questions at the end of each chapter. I will expect the papers on my desk before the tardy bell." Ziva told her class.

* * *

Calling Ziva ended up being the easy call. Since he couldn't risk upsetting Holly in class and saying the words "Noah is dying." Calling Gibbs would be a far more challenging task. The others had to know the news too but he was hoping that Gibbs would be the one to break the bad news to the others. He knew that he should be the one to tell them but he was not sure that he could bear to do it. He was going to have a hard enough time telling Holly, Gibbs, and Ziva and they were all ones who deserved to be told by him. He took several deep breaths and let out a few shaking sobs. Before dialing Gibbs's number.

"Gibbs"

"It's Tony"

"Are you alright, Tony?"

"No I am not."

"What's wrong?"

"I need you to get to Bethesda right away."

"Are you sick?"

"I am fine but just get down here."

"I will be right there. Just sit tight."

* * *

Gibbs knew by the tone of Tony's voice. That something was severely wrong with his son. He knew that Tony and Noah had their checkups today. Tony said that he was not sick. Of course Tony was hard-headed and tended to stretch the truth. Of course he had already instructed him to get to Bethesda right away. If he was going to give that much information. Why not tell the truth and admit that he was sick. If Tony was not sick and he needed to get to Bethesda right away. That left Noah. He felt like he was going to be sick. He threw down his tools, jumped up from his workbench and ran up the basement stairs.

"I'm coming, Tony!" Gibbs cried out,

* * *

In the end Tony was glad that he did not break the news to Gibbs over the phone. The news that a child was dying. Was not news to break over the phone. He would wait until everybody got to the hospital and break it to everybody at once. Holly and Ziva arrived first.

"Hi dad!" Holly cried.

"What is going on, Tony?" Ziva asked.

"Just wait a minute, OK? Gibbs is on the way." Tony replied.

"Tony?" Ziva asked.

* * *

While they waited for Gibbs. Holly got started on her homework and Ziva called her babysitter and let her know that shew as away from the school and to contact either her cellphone or Bethesda Naval Hospital if an emergency should arise. Ten minutes later Gibbs arrived.

"What is going on, Tony?" Gibbs asked, eyes showing concern.

"Guys come here." Tony instructed.

"Dad you are scaring me." Holly said.

"Please Tony just tell us." Ziva begged.

"Guys I really hate to tell you this but Noah's tests were not good." Tony explained.

"What's wrong with him?" Gibbs asked.

"Where is he?" Ziva added.

"How bad is it dad?" Holly asked.

"He is dying. My son is dying." Tony replied.

"Oh Tony I am so sorry." Ziva apologized.

"I know that nothing I say will help but I am here for you Tony. You and Holly." Gibbs replied.

"No! You are lying! Noah! Noah!" Holly yelled running down the hallway.

"Hol..." Tony started.

"I will go after her. Gibbs you comfort Tony. I know how it feels to lose a sibling and you know how it is to lose a child." Ziva instructed.

* * *

**A/N: Tony will be able to breakdown in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	29. Facing Loss

Holly had no idea where she was going, she just needed to get away. She could not believe that Noah was dying. He was her brother, her twin. He was literally her other half. That morning everything was fine and normal. They were planning their birthday party and their nicknames for summer camp. Now Noah was dying. He may not even live to see their birthday and he certainly wouldn't be able to go to summer camp. At least not the camp they usually went to. She knew that something was not right with him but she never expected it to be this bad. She never expected her brother to die, not when they were just kids.

"Holly!" Ziva called.

"Mi...Miss David?" Holly asked.

"It is not school hours. You may call me Ziva." Ziva offered.

"Thanks" Holly sniffed.

"Come here, I want to talk to you." Ziva instructed.

"A...about what?" Holly asked.

"About Noah" Ziva replied.

"Why does he have to die so young?" Holly asked.

"I cannot answer that." Ziva replied.

"Yeah I know but it's not fair. I mean I already lost my mom and I am sure that I will outlive my dad. What if I end up with nobody?" Holly questioned.

"That's what happened to me and I can safely say that while I have no genetic family left but I am far from alone." Ziva explained.

"You outlived your entire family?" Holly gasped.

"Yes my dad died about two and a half years ago. We were never what you would call close but it was much harder than I thought to lose him. My brother died about ten years ago and that was tough. I lost my mother just before my tenth birthday. My sister she died far too young." Ziva explained.

"I am so sorry." Holly apologized.

"My sister I would like to tell you about her. I feel like it might help." Ziva replied.

"What about your brother?" Holly asked.

"That is not a story I am ready to tell just yet. Besides I was younger when my sister died." Ziva explained.

"OK, I hope that I did not offend you." Ziva apologized.

"It is fine." Ziva assured.

"Good" Holly replied.

"My sister Talia. She was twelve and I was well I must have been fourteen. Our brother was coming home from university. He had not been home in nearly a year. Naturally my father felt this was a cause for celebration. He decided that we would have a big dinner party for everybody in the neighborhood. The day Ar... uh my brother was due to arrive home. My dad left money for Talia and me to go to the market and pick up the supplies for the party. We were to go immediately after school but this boy I liked Adam, invited me to go and play basketball in the park. Being young and stupid and most of all selfish. I lied to Talia and said that I was not feeling well and asked her if she was OK to go alone to the market. So that I could lie down before we had to start preparing for my brother to arrive. Talia was so sweet and sensitive, that she immediately agreed. I was going for a basket. When we heard it. At first we were not fazed by it. Suicide bombings were a regular thing in Tel Aviv. Then some kid came running up to the court and yelled that the market had been blown up. We were not far from there. So we went to see the damage. We got sent to Adam's house and were all sitting around watching movies and laughing at some stupid inside joke. Then there was a knock on the door. We heard Mrs. Eshel scream and begin to frantically call my name. I ran out to the living room and my dad and brother were their my brother was holding my sister's butterfly hair clip in his hand and crying. My dad told me that Talia was dead. She was at the market and right by the bomb. There was time to get out but she was alone and scared. She froze and nobody stayed to help her. It was all my fault. I should have been there. She should not have been alone." Ziva explained.

"That was not your fault. You could not have known." Holly replied.

"I know but from time to time, I still feel guilt for Talia's death. I still cry for her all the time but I am happy. Because I know that Talia would not want me to spend my life grieving for her. That she would want me to be happy. So I am. As hard as it is. I am happy and I am a good person. That is how I honor her memory and that is how you should honor Noah. When he is gone." Ziva explained.

"What about when he is still here?" Holly asked.

"Love him all you can. Enjoy every second that you have with him and squeeze in as many happy memories with him as you can." Ziva explained.

"Will you be there for him and my dad and me?" Holly asked.

"Always, I will always be there for you guys because I love you." Ziva assured.

"Thank you, Ziva." Holly sniffed embracing her teacher.

"It is no problem Tateleh." Ziva assured.

* * *

Tony sat on the bottom step, leading down to his boss's basement. It was after visiting hours and Noah had insisted that he go home to be with Holly but instead of going home. Tony grabbed his and Holly's go bags and went over to Gibbs's house. Holly was upstairs working on her homework. She was such an amazing and strong child. Tony wished that he could be half as tough as she was. All he could do was sit on the steps and and sip the bourbon that Gibbs gave him. He held the glass in his hand and cried into the brown liquid. His life was falling apart. He could not believe that he was going to lose his son.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked.

"What?" Tony replied.

"I need to run this to my neighbor. Are you going to be OK, alone?" Gibbs asked picking up a bright purple bicycle.

"At ten at night?" Tony asked.

"It's for the kids birthday tomorrow. They want it there when she wakes up but if you need me. I can wait until morning." Gibbs offered.

"No go" Tony replied.

"I will be back in fifteen minutes." Gibbs promised.

"OK" Tony replied.

* * *

With Gibbs gone, Tony felt even more hollow than he had before. He knew that Gibbs would be back soon and that he would never totally abandon him but logic was failing him that night. He stood and made his way upstairs. He found Holly asleep in the guest room. She held the small key-chain that Noah had gotten her when she was too sick to go to the Lincoln Memorial in the fifth grade and she was crying in her sleep. He felt completely helpless. One kid was dying and the other was putting it upon herself to be the strong one. His heart breaking further, he made his way back down to the basement. He picked up and unopened bottle of bourbon, opened it and began to drink. He had already had several glasses but he wanted to forget. He wanted to forget everything...

* * *

**A/N: Hopefully Gibbs will catch Tony before he polishes off the bottle. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	30. Love and Support

The first thing Tony noticed as he regained consciousness was his pounding headache. He tried his hardest to sit up but the room seemed to be spinning around him and he fell back onto the pillow. His eyes slowly blinked open and he quickly forced them shut. The light was blinding him and making his headache about fifty times worse. Somebody was walking across the wooden floor and even though they were stepping lightly and likely barefoot or only wearing socks. It sounded to Tony as though he were in a over filled tap dancing class.

"Ohhh" Tony groaned.

"I bet that your head is killing you." Gibbs commented.

"Hhhh" Tony agreed.

"Well you have one hell of a hangover." Gibbs explained.

"Y?" Tony asked.

"You polished off a bottle of bourbon last night. Almost had to call 911 a few times but I think that you are going to be OK." Gibbs explained.

"Hrts" Tony moaned.

"Here drink this, it is my grandpa's hangover cure." Gibbs replied handing Tony a glass.

* * *

Tony polished off the Gibbs family hangover cure. He suspected that it cured your hangover but the payout was that you vomited yourself to death. The taste was terrible. Like the worst thing he had ever tasted in his life. He set the glass down on the bedside table and then collapsed back onto the pillow. When he opened his eyes again, the cup was gone. He looked at his watch, expecting it to be late afternoon, his heart racing in fears that he had missed a precious day with Noah. To his surprise only twenty minutes had passed.

"Good you are up." Gibbs said entering the room.

"What is that hangover cure?" Tony asked.

"That is a Gibbs family secret." Gibbs replied.

"Well it's terrible." Tony spat.

"I know but it is the best thing I know and it stopped me from being a teenage drunk. Jack gave it to me one time and I did not touch the stuff again until I joined the Marines." Gibbs explained.

"Where's Holly?" Tony asked.

"With the McGee's. Tim got her last night." Gibbs explained.

"You did not tell her what happened, right?" Tony asked.

"No that is your news to share." Gibbs replied.

"What am I going to do? I don't want to lose my son." Tony cried.

"Do what I could not and cherish every moment. It may not make the pain go away but at least you and Holly will have plenty of memories. Just be glad for the memories." Gibbs explained.

* * *

As Tony sat by his son's bedside. He reflected on Gibbs's words to him. He would make as many memories as possible with Noah. He would cherish every second he had with his son and he would make sure that Holly did the same. _Holly _his heart broke for his daughter. How would she cope with the loss of her twin brother. How were they supposed to move on from this? The loss of child was not something you got over but how the hell was he supposed to continue to live? How the hell was he supposed to expect Holly to continue to live? Why did his life have to be so God Dammed, unfair?

"How are you holding up?" Ziva asked.

"Ziva? Is school out already?" Tony asked.

"For about an hour. Holly is with Julia." Ziva explained.

"Oh" Tony sighed.

"She said that she was going to get a ride over here but the girls have a project to work on." Ziva explained.

"It's been a hard day." Tony replied shakily.

"How is Noah?" Ziva asked.

"Heavily medicated but I would still rather step out of the room to discuss this any further with you. People in comas can hear what you are saying and I would rather not distress him." Tony explained.

"I understand" Ziva replied.

* * *

Tony followed Ziva down to the hospital's cafeteria. He was somewhat annoyed at Holly for not coming straight to the hospital after school but he could not really fault her. She had taken the news hard, really hard. He would have to make sure that she came to see him sometimes but he was not going to force her for a few days. He did not want to distress her any further. Not so close to getting the worst news of her young life.

"So did you guys get any news? From Noah's additional tests?" Ziva asked.

"Not yet." Tony sighed.

"What are you going to do about treatment?" Ziva asked.

"Not much they can do but make him comfortable. Pain management mainly but we can do oxygen and dialysis, if we so choose. I am going to meet with a hospice social worker tomorrow. I decided to bring him home to die. I want him to be comfortable. When he dies, not in a miserable hospital. God, I never thought I would be saying those words about my child. I always thought that Noah would be telling his wife this about me. It shouldn't be the other way around." Tony explained.

"No it shouldn't." Ziva agreed.

"Gibbs agreed to build the casket. He almost broke down, Gibbs is so strong. He never breaks down, never. He lost a child too, he is trying to help me but it is bringing back too many bad memories for him. He is so strong and losing his little girl nearly killed him. I am so weak, there is no way that I can survive this. I just can't." Tony explained.

"Oh Tony" Ziva whispered.

"I am so glad that you are not going to be Holly's teacher much longer because I do not want to have to worry about you showing favoritism but she is going to need extra care." Tony explained.

"I will be there for her, I would risk my job for her." Ziva assured.

* * *

**A/N: The team finds out in the next chapter but somebody accidentally spills the beans which causes a huge fight between two of the characters. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	31. Results

Noah was kept in the hospital while the doctors awaited the results of his tests. That just happened to be the amount of time it took for Tony to get things set up at home for his son's final days. _Sons final days_, those words were still killing Tony to even think of stringing together. Following his tests Noah was moved to a private room at the end of the pediatric hall. There were no visiting hours for Noah his last night in the hospital. Tony and Holly were free to come as they pleased. Holly did not come to the hospital that night but Tony did not blame her for that. He was going to work to make the home care system as comfortable and normal as possible.

"Tony, I have Noah's results back." Dr. Pitt said entering the room as Tony was packing Noah up to go home.

"Do you want to step into the hall?" Tony asked.

"No, it would be better if Noah was in here." Dr. Pitt replied.

"I know that I am dying. Why bother keeping stuff from me?" Noah questioned.

"I guess you are right, go ahead Brad." Tony sighed.

"Well Noah's renal failure and heart deterioration are both results of the virus attacking his organs. He can do dialysis to give him a little more time but he is not a candidate for a transplant." Dr. Pitt explained.

"He's under hospice care. Just oxygen if needed and pain management." Tony explained.

"At least you aren't going to force him into a long and drawn out treatments that will do him no good in the end." Dr. Pitt replied.

"I thought of letting him get dialysis but he didn't want it and I... I just can't put him through treatments that keep him tethered most of the day. Not when he only has a short time left." Tony explained.

"That can't have been an easy decision and I am sorry that you had to make it." Dr. Pitt replied.

"How about his lungs do you have the biopsy results yet?" Tony asked.

"Yes and as we feared both masses are cancerous. Stage four lung cancer. I am so sorry." Dr. Pitt apologized.

"He was fine at the last check and now everything failing and he has stage four cancer. What the hell happened? How the hell did I not see it?" Tony rambled.

"The human body is tricky. You can seem perfectly healthy and then out of the blue you are dead or dying. I am sorry that it had to happen to Noah. I really am." Dr. Pitt apologized.

* * *

Gibbs and Ziva had worked with hospice to get Noah's home hospital room set up. They had hauled his old bed down to the basement and set up the hospital bed in it's place. They had managed to leave pretty much everything in it's old place. While still making plenty of room for the medical equipment. Gibbs had also installed Jack's old stair lift. So that Noah would not have to stress his body by going up and down the stairs.

"I think it looks really good." Gibbs commented.

"Yeah... We did a good job." Ziva agreed.

"Hey are you OK?" Gibbs asked.

"Can we survive this?" Ziva asked.

"I am not going to lie. It is going to be hell but I think that we can come through. So long as we stick together. I am still worried for Tony and Holly though. Especially Holly." Gibbs explained.

"I mean me and Tony's relationship. Can it survive the loss of Noah. We have only been together a few months and the loss of a child has torn apart far stronger relationships than ours." Ziva clarified.

"That won't be easy either but if you are meant to be, your relationship will survive anything." Gibbs assured.

"You don't think that Tony will want more kids, do you?" Ziva asked.

"I don't know. I know that Kate swore off being pregnant after the twins but Kate had other problems. So they never would have had more children. Even if Kate had survived the shooting. As for Tony. He never mentioned wanting more kids but that doesn't mean he was against the idea." Gibbs explained.

"Oh did Kate have fertility issues?" Ziva asked.

"No she had... Well I promised her that I would never tell anyone. So yeah lets say it was fertility issues." Gibbs replied.

"Oh well that is too bad for them." Ziva replied.

"Why are you asking me all this?" Gibbs asked raising his eyebrow.

"I had a miscarriage about ten years ago and I cannot have anymore children." Ziva explained.

"I am sorry to hear that but I am sure that Tony will stay with you no matter what and you can always adopt." Gibbs assured.

"Good" Ziva replied.

* * *

Holly stood with Julia outside the school auditorium. Julia had conned her into trying out for the graduation play and to her surprise she had actually gotten a part. It was a small part, very small. Just one line at the very end. Julia on the other hand had the lead and was going completely crazy. Holly had prayed for an excuse. To get out of the play and now her brother was dying. She really should have been more cautious. McGee pulled into the pickup area, Julia got in the front-seat and Holly climbed into the backseat. She was just buckling her seat-belt. When McGee adjusted the rear-view mirror and studied her.

"I am so sorry about Noah." McGee said sympathetically

"What do you mean?" Holly asked.

"Julia told me that he was in hospice care and that he is dying." McGee explained.

"Julia! I told you that in confidence! How could you! My dad was going to break the news to everybody tonight! When Noah was home! He is going to be so pissed if he finds out! He didn't want everybody knowing!" Holly snapped.

"Holl, I am so sorry. I thought that it was OK to tell." Julia apologized.

"You are such a big mouth! You just have to always be talking and you cannot keep a secret! I hate you! We are not friends anymore!" Holly snapped.

* * *

**A/N: Hopefully Holly will forgive Julia soon. Did I originally say that Ziva would still be able to have kids after her miscarriage? If so I will go back and change it. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading. **


	32. Heartache

Tony pulled into his driveway and saw that Noah was fast asleep in the backseat. Tony walked around, picked his son out of the backseat, and carried him inside. It felt weird for him to be carrying his son into the house. The last time he had carried Noah inside, was when he ten years old and fell asleep on the ride home from an all day field trip. His son was so much smaller back then. Noah had always been short. The doctors said that the plague had likely stunted his growth but Tony suspected that the twins just took after Kate because Holly was only slightly taller than her brother. He had hit a small growth spurt recently and the doctors suspected that was contributing to his heart giving out. That if he grew much more, even if he got a kidney transplant and managed to beat the cancer. His heart would still fail. He hated that his son was dying. He wanted to take Noah and run away. To one of the far off places that the twins used to talk about when they were growing up. One of the places where nobody ever got sick or died. Where their family could be whole. Like the families of the twins friends but those places were just in the imagination of his children, when they were just tiny. His children; one of whom would never grow-up, meanwhile the other was forced to grow-up way too fast. So instead he carried Noah upstairs and lowered him into the hospital bed. He changed his son into his pajamas and set a fresh pair on the dresser just in case. He had meant to swing by the drug store and pick up some adult diapers, at least for when Noah was sleeping but the boy was so weak and he could not justify leaving him in the car. He would have to ask Gibbs or Ziva to get some supplies for him and Noah. One of them would be bringing Holly home from school. He put Noah on the c-pap machine he had gotten from the hospital. This was going to kill him. He didn't want it to, because he did not want to leave poor Holly all alone. How selfish was that?

"Tony?!" Gibbs called from downstairs.

"I am in Noah's room!" Tony called down.

"I will be right up!" Gibbs called back up.

* * *

Tony gently stroked his son's hair. One advantage to Noah not getting chemo therapy for his cancer. Was the fact that he would not lose his hair. Noah loved his hair as much as he did and Holly found her brother's strong attachment to his hair. As Kate had found his attachment to his hair. He had a little him and a little Kate but he was going to lose his mini me. Not that losing Holly was any better or any worse. Losing either of his children would be hell. He thought that because he knew that Noah was sick and had been his entire life. It would be easier to face his demise but it was actually harder. Noah had beaten the plague and now he was dying. Because his body was crapping out on him. Tony had always worked so hard to be enough for the twins and to keep them as safe as possible. So that they would not suffer the same fate as Kelly Gibbs. Now his son's body was in a state of rapid decline and it was all _his _fault. He had opened that God Dammed. SWAK envelope. It should be him dying from effects of the plague. Not his sweet son, who was just an innocent victim.

"I got some supplies for Noah." Gibbs said handing Tony a bag.

"Thank you" Tony replied.

"There's groceries for you downstairs and some stuff for Holly on the doorknob to her bedroom. Just let me know if you need anything else." Gibbs explained.

"Thanks, uh this is probably going to be embarrassing for you but I needed to get some diapers for Noah. He is having issues with bed wetting and as he progresses. His incontinence will get worse. If you don't want to buy them. I will go grab some. Just stay with Noah, while I am gone." Tony replied.

"I've bought worse undercover and even worse on drunken dares in my Marine days but that is a story for another day." Gibbs replied.

"Thanks, dad" Tony replied.

"Oh before I forget, Ziver picked Holly up from school. She was really upset about something but Ziva could not get her to open up." Gibbs explained.

"I will talk to her." Tony sighed.

"Let me know if you need my help." Gibbs replied, before exiting the room.

* * *

Ziva studied Holly who sat beside her in the front of the Mini Cooper. She had been leaving Tony's house with Gibbs. When her phone rang. She saw that is Holly and immediately answered. She was greeted by the sound of Holly sobbing hysterically and begging her to come and get her.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Ziva asked.

"Julia betrayed me!" Holly snapped.

"Did she say something bad about you? Is something online? Do I need to take you to the resource office?" Ziva asked.

"It was about Noah." Holly sniffed.

"That is very serious! I am taking you back to the school and you are going to tell somebody what she said!" Ziva cried.

"It's nothing like that. She told her dad about Noah." Holly explained.

"Why is that a big deal?" Ziva asked.

"I told her it in confidence and she went behind my back." Holly explained.

"Maybe she just wanted to help you or maybe she needed to open up?" Ziva offered.

"It was still really mean and I am not her friend anymore. I don't need to be wasting time with her anyway. It is just time away from Noah. In fact I am going to beg dad to put me in online school. So that I can be with Noah all day and if he refuses. I will just be sick the rest of the year. I don't care if I fail. I just want to be with Noah. Because once he is gone. I will never see him again." Holly explained, tears pouring down her cheeks.

* * *

**A/N: Poor Holly, really breaking down. New chapter will be up soon. Please review and thanks for reading.**


	33. Be OK

Since it was four o'clock before Noah was discharged and cleared out of the hospital. Tony was completely on his own until the night nurse arrived. Tony's insurance paid for two hospice nurses, working twelve hour shifts. The day nurses would be on from six in the morning until six at night and the night nurse would work from six at night until six in the morning. Tony had met with both nurses while Noah was still hospitalized. Both had personal experiences that resulted in them working in hospice. Beverly the day nurse was older not old but she was in her early fifties or maybe late forties. She had worked at Bethesda for twenty years but retired after her husband had a stroke ad required her constant care. After he died two years ago, she started working as a hospice nurse. Noelle was younger she had actually graduated a two years ahead of Jimmy. She got pregnant in her senior year of high school and her son was born with severe health problems. When he died at only two years old, she was inspired to go into nursing. Both were very attached to Noah and Tony cold tell that they would be sure to make Noah very comfortable in his final days. Which at this point was all Tony could really ask for.

"Hi dad" Holly said from the doorway.

"Hey Holly, when did you get home?" Tony asked.

"Just now" Holly replied.

"Do you want to spend some time with him?" Tony asked.

"Is he up to it?" Holly asked.

"He's sleeping but he may wake up. Either way you really should spend as much time as possible with him." Tony explained.

"I know" Holly replied, wiping a tear from her eye.

"We'll get through this. I may not but I will make sure that you are OK." Tony assured.

"Gibbs will be there for us." Holly replied.

"That he will." Tony replied.

"Oh, Miss. David is downstairs." Holly replied.

"She is? I thought that you were supposed to go out with Julia." Tony asked.

"Don't bring her up." Holly warned.

"Oh no, did you guys have a fight?" Tony asked.

"Dad, I need my privacy." Holly said.

"OK" Tony agreed.

* * *

Ziva sat at Tony's table. It was her first time being inside his house. They had, had sex a handful of times but Tony always insisted that they go to her apartment. At least until she was no longer the twins teacher. She had been to Tony's house before but she had never been further than just inside the door. It was actually a pretty nice place. Nothing super fancy but it was a nice place. She had also seen _her_ for the first time. Kate, standing beside a man in a Santa suite balancing Holly and Noah on his knees. It must have been from Kate's last Christmas. She was beautiful and flawless. She felt so self conscious standing there with her scarred back, compared to Kate's flawless beauty.

"I feel so naughty, a girl in my kitchen." Tony joked coming down the stairs.

"How is your son, Tony?" Ziva asked.

"Sleeping he is in bad shape." Tony sighed.

"I am sorry." Ziva apologized.

"I need a distraction but unfortunately I must first ask you about my other child." Tony explained.

"Why is that bad?" Ziva asked.

"Because something is wrong with her." Tony replied.

"She had a fight with Julia. Did she tell you about that?" Ziva asked.

"No but she seemed upset when I mentioned her. So I figured as much." Tony explained.

"Yes it seems that Julia told her dad about Noah. Holly had told her in confidence and it greatly upset Holly. She also said that she did not want friends. She just wanted to be with Noah." Ziva explained.

"I will talk to her? Would you like to see Noah?" Tony asked.

"Sure" Ziva replied.

"Wash your hands and when I come up with the nurse you will have to leave." Tony explained.

"OK" Ziva agreed.

* * *

Noelle arrived at six o'clock on the dot. A fact that Tony took as a very good sign. He showed her around and introduced her to Holly. She stayed up in the room with Noah, while Tony went to get ready for dinner. Gibbs was bringing food and the others were coming over. It was going to be rough but Tony knew that he needed to tell the team. He was actually kind of glad that Holly had already told Julia and that Julia had told her dad. Especially since McGee had likely spilled the beans to Abby and that may make things easier or it may make things worse.

"Your girlfriend seems really nice." Noelle said.

"She is amazing and more importantly she is good for the kids." Tony explained.

"She is a teacher, right?" Noelle asked.

"Yes" Tony replied.

"And she teaches both twins?" Noelle asked.

"Yes" Tony replied.

"Well that will be good for both of you." Noelle said.

* * *

The team arrived around eight. It was later than Tony was used to eating but he was not exactly hungry and neither was Holly. Gibbs already knew what Tony was going to say. So he went into the kitchen and dished up the food, while Tony broke the news in the living room. McGee had whispered that he was sorry as he walked past. Ducky sat in the recliner, Bishop as on the floor, and Abby, McGee, and Jimmy were sitting in a row on the couch.

"You are probably wondering why I called you all here and why I have been out of work for the past few days. This will not be easy to say. So I am just going to get it out. As you know, Noah and I had our check-ups the other day. I was fine. My asthma was a little worse but they increased my meds and I am now just fine. Noah, unfortunately Noah's body is in rapid decline. His kidneys are failing, his heart is deteriorating and failing, and he has stage four cancer in both lungs. I brought him home today and we are going to make him comfortable." Tony explained, voice cracking.

"That is dreadful Anthony. I am so sorry. It is always hard for me to hear that a child is dying. When I am so old." Ducky apologized.

"That is terrible." Bishop added.

"I am sorry Tony, I really am. I know it won't help but I really am. Just let me know if there is anything I can do." McGee said.

"Oh Tony! That is so horrible! I am so so sorry! I cannot believe that Noah is dying. Oh poor Holly! Poor you! Oh I wish there was something I could do! Of course I will be there! But I so wish that I could make Noah better!" Abby cried.

"Oh Tony" Jimmy said.

"It means a lot guys. I am glad that you have my six, I am going to need it and Holly is too. She is in a really bad place." Tony replied.

* * *

The next morning Noelle was getting ready to leave and Tony was waiting downstairs for Beverly to arrive. Gibbs had spent the night on the couch. Tony heard something coming from upstairs and raced up the stairs, thinking that something was wrong with Noah. He saw Noelle standing in the hallway, her arms were crossed and she was smiling. He got to his son's room and peaked inside. Noah was sitting up in the hospital bed and Holly was in the chair. Holly reached up and wiped a tear from her eye. Tony rushed in, fearing that his daughter was breaking down. Then he realized the twins were not crying they were laughing. He had forgotten how to laugh or really joke around. He had made that comment about Ziva being in his kitchen but that was half-hearted and a faint attempt to lighten the mood but it was not real, joy. Holly had seemed miserable too and he knew that she had not laughed, smiled, or felt anything but depression but Noah. The one who was facing his own mortality at such an early age. Was making his sister laugh. Maybe their was hope after all. He felt a pair of arms wrap around him and his neck was softly kissed.

"What's going on?" Ziva asked.

"Noah made Holly laugh." Tony replied.

"That is wonderful." Ziva replied.

"Yes it is, because we have all been so depressed." Tony replied.

"I know and I am glad to see that you are all doing well." Ziva replied.

"We really should be happy for now." Tony said.

"Yes we should, I love you Tony and I love the twins too." Ziva said.

"After losing Kate, I have realized that no family is traditional but I will still love having a whole family for the short time that I have it." Tony explained.

"I will too." Holly added.

"Me too" Noah agreed.

"I am glad to be part of your family. I am sad that it will not last the way it is long but I am happy that we have this time together." Ziva explained.

"Noah may not be here but we will always be a family. That is what Kate always told me. Especially when Noah was so sick. So much sicker than me but we need to appreciate when we are all physically together." Tony explained.

* * *

**FIN**

* * *

**A/N: Since they dynamic of the story has changed. I have decided to start a sequel, that will deal with Noah's death and Tony and Ziva's official relationship. I should post that soon. Thanks to all who read, followed, favorited, and reviewed. One last time please review and thanks for reading.**


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